[sengledad]

Hello.
I am having some issues with my new girlfriend and the situation we are in. Im a 38 year old single dad of 2 boys. My girlfriend of almost 6 months still lives at home with her parents (she is 36, no children). She has moved back in with her parents after a failed marriage, and the onset of a minor case of MS. The MS has since went into remission (she shows no signs, other than being tired), but her parents do not want her to ever move out, and often encourage her to “play the field”, which i think is because they do not really want anyone coming into her life that might take her away. She sometimes tells me of the the things her parents say to her about it, specifically about her staying the night with me, and that she shouldnt be doing it because she and I are not married, followed by consistent talk against it. She reminds me of dating a girl in high school with the control and influence that the parents have over her. It is very frustrating, as i am getting older, and am not interested in playing the field, because i have fell in love with her. I am questioning if she will ever take that step away from her parents, even if i get her a ring (this is the only acceptable thing to justify her moving in she says), im not sure her parents would approve anyway, due to the fact that i am not overly religious, and they indeed are. Is this a no win situation?
Thank you..sengledad

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you met a 36 year old woman who lived with her parents, and began dating her — but now you’re upset, six months later, that she lives with her parents. 😕 If you wanted a woman who was more independent, it would have probably been a good idea to find one who was more independent, rather than looking for one who’s dependent and hoping she’ll change.

It’s not a good idea to date people because of their potential. Instead, learn who they are (as quickly as you can) and decide whether or not the two of you are compatible. Right now, it doesn’t sound like you are, but because nothing’s really changed since you started dating her, it seems like the problem is in your choosing her.

I think you need to move on and find someone who’s more independent and a better fit for you. 😉

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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