[Will030]

First off, don’t just tell me what I “want to hear” unless it’s true because if I’m doing anything wrong, I’d love to know so I can fix it.

Anyways, this past semester, my buddy got me to join this weekly dancing club at our city college and that’s how I met this girl. She and I have been paired up several times and she really seems nice. I guess she’s going to turn 19 next month and I’m already 19. I’ve been thinking about her during the winter break and next time I see her, I think I want to ask her out for coffee or something.

I guess the worst she could say to that is no. My friend who knows her told me she’s not very picky (but from what I hear, she only dated one guy in her life and it was a week, I’ve only dated one girl and it was a month). He said to just keep a straight face and to be firm and confident. Also, I have been rejected when I was 15. I’ve changed a lot since then and ex girlfriend who dumped me 4 months ago was the first girl I asked out in almost 4 years and she said yes and people think I’m nice so I guess that says something.

Speaking of my ex-girlfriend (just so you know, I am over her), if things work out with this new girl, I will never compare her to my ex. I know that it’s a real bad call. My best friend did something like that and it turned out bad. However, I would like to look back on that break up as a learning experience and not make the same mistakes that I did with that relationship (which was pretty much overdedicating myself and acting like she and I were married thus suffocating her without knowing it.)

If this new girl says yes to a coffee outing and that goes well, maybe next go to the mall or go see a movie and see how things go from there. If I find myself chatting with her on Facebook again before I see her next, should I ask her or leave it at “we should chat more often” and ask her in person next time I see her?

Good plan or bad plan?

[Clara]

You [i]are[/i] on the right track. 🙂 But let me steer you away from some potential problems:

First of all, rejection is a part of dating, just like striking out in baseball is a part of any great player’s career. You have to get up to bat in order to even have the opportunity to connect with the ball, and by asking out girls you like, you’re doing just that — giving yourself, and the girls, the opportunity to go out with you. But understand that sometimes you won’t be someone’s cup of tea, and you should also realize that there will be girls who like you who you won’t want to ask out. That’s just life, and rather than see it as a bad thing, understand that when someone tells you no, or you give them the thumbs down, it’s just a way for them to get back on the RIGHT track towards someone who does want to date you (or them). So accept rejection and be prepared to weather any sting and move on. It will happen, and you will not die from it. But you won’t live in rejection — you’ll get a lot of yes answers in your life. 😀

Next, your plan for coffee and then a mall and movie date sounds great, but ….. don’t ask a girl out on a date online or by text. Women want to hear you ask them out. It makes them feel special and there are things about face to face or hearing a voice that communicates so much more than a chilly, cool text. So make sure you get her phone number so you can call her. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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