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April Mașini, your AskApril.
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March 2, 2012 at 11:20 pm #5036
brannndij
Member #140,474Alright, well, let me start off by saying that me and this guy have known each other for years. We had a lot of chemistry when we first became friends but he was in a relationship at the time which led to us not talking at all because it got hard to ignore our feelings and I didn’t want to impose on a relationship that they were trying to make work. So a few years later as I was going through a really nasty break up and he stepped back into my life. We became friends and he was there for me when it felt like no one else was and it led to us actually getting together.
After being together for almost a year and a half I found out that I was pregnant. Now before that, we had our fair share of problems, but what young couple doesn’t? After I got pregnant we fought a little more often because we’ve both been stressed, he had just gotten a new job and so had I, then he ended up changing jobs. Plus his father had been sick so he moved out to help take care of him and so on. Well things had started to get really good, we were happy as far as I could tell, we both have been making decent money and he’d been coming over to stay with me every night and talking about the future of us and our baby girl. He even has been encouraging me to go back to school and telling me how he is willing to help me achieve my dreams since I have worked so hard to help him achieve his. Then literally the next day he started acting weird and I had no idea what was going on. I figured he was just in a mood, but then he started saying things about how he wasn’t happy and hadn’t been for a while, but had hidden it and just kept everything inside. A few days later he blatently told me that he no longer wanted to be with me. That we were far past trying to take a break, and though we might be able to work things out later on, this would be better for now. He kept saying how this was beter for now at least. So of course I broke down. I didn’t know what else to do. Then the next day he texted me telling me that he loved me and continued to do that almost every night. A few days later he got certified at work and texted me telling me all excited, and when I got a promotion he talked about being proud of me. Mind you this was all within a few days, and he was still telling me he did love and miss me the entire time.
Then I got an angry phone call from him because apparently someone I barely know had messaged one of his female clients [he’s a tattoo artist] saying that she needed to leave him alone and that we had been engaged [which we weren’t] and all this and that. He was pissed, naturally but said he would get a hold of me later that night, after I explained to him that I really had no idea what he was talking about. He never did. I found out later that the reason this woman had gotten ahold of this client was because she thought they were having an affair, which I still haven’t found out if it was true or not.
So since there was no reason to really bring that all up after I had already told him that I had no idea what had happened I texted him telling him that I love him, and I know he loves me. That we are both scared and worried about having a baby and that I understand he needs time right now but I am willing to fight and do what I need to, to fix this relationship if he decides he wants to as well, even though it will take a lot of hard work from both parties, and if he does choose to try that it will be me, him, and our child, that’s it and we will be a family. He never answered me. The next day he messaged me saying that he needed me to tell Rain [the one who messaged his client] to stay out of our business and I told him I had already handled it. I then asked if he had gotten my text since he never responded and he never answered me again. I know he works long hours, and is busy sometimes, but I’m just at the point where I don’t know what to do. I know that he loves me. And I don’t understand what is going on at all, or how this all happened. I love him so much, and I do not want to be without him. And there are so many possibilities. This is also the first time he’s had a really good job that he has made substantial amounts of money that he could call his own on top of everything else, we’re having a baby at young ages, we’ve been together for almost two years and started living together after just six months, so I know that there’s a lot of strain on our relationship for many reasons. I just don’t know what to think at this point.March 3, 2012 at 12:20 am #22504brannndij
Member #140,474And he just texted me telling me he loves me. Nothing else. March 3, 2012 at 1:18 am #22146Let me know what your question is, and I’ll be more than happy to answer it. 😀 March 3, 2012 at 10:43 am #22545brannndij
Member #140,474Do you think that I should wait for him? Do you think he’ll come around eventually, and realize he wants to be with me and our daughter? Do you think it’s all because he’s just scared, or that he really is just done? March 4, 2012 at 12:56 am #22455Rather than YOU focusing on [i]him[/i] , my advice is that you focus on[i]yourself[/i] and take care of you, since you’re going to be a new mother, soon.Prepare to be a single mother because it sounds like he left you after you got pregnant — not a good sign for the future — rather than trying to make things work as a new family.
😳 Make sure you have family support from relatives nearby and figure out maternity leave at your job, insurance, and ask him to start making contributions to your pregnancy related medical bills.I hope that he’ll be a good father to your child, and I know you want him to be a good partner to you, but as a new mother, you really have to prepare for all outcomes, and right now, he’s not there.
😕 I know this is hard, but you can do it.
I hope that helps. Let me know if you have any other questions, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link:
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