[Anonymous]

Hello,

My girlfriend and I had an argument two days ago when I called her up and she responded jokingly and I played along by joking back. She got p’d off from my response because she thought I was seriously making fun of her. When actually I was having a good time talking to her. She ended up cussing me out and hung up her phone. I thought this was an argument over something minor. Then she sent me a text claiming that I was wrong. So I tried to call her back and she text me back saying that she didn’t want to talk to me right now.Then I asked her wth is going on? She ended up telling me what the problem was but just didn’t get it. She then told me when she gets back she wants her stuff and that’s it. We had a good relationship so far and I wasn’t willing to let it go over something minor. So my question are: Should I just let her go? Or should I be the bigger person and call her back by saying it was my fault even though it wasn’t? Or should I wait and see if she will contact me?

Thanks

[Anonymous]

Just to make things more clearer. We were on good terms prior to the disagreement. She called me and i called her back. She answered the phone jokingly(she was trying to have fun). I replied back jokingly but she thought I was making fun of what she was saying. I basically repeated what she said for example; ‘wassuup” I reply “wasssup”, remember this is just an example. I guess when I replied back she took it the wrong way. I don’t know if it was my tone or how I said it. Her reaction was way off.

[Ask April Masini]

You can be right or you can be happy. But you can’t be both. Not all the time.

Choose.

Winning every argument comes at a price — in fact in this case, winning this one argument comes at a big price. If the fight was about something inane, my advice is that you take the high road, back down, apologize, make your apology all about her feelings and how the last thing you want to do is hurt her and you took this too far, etc.

Relationships require compromise, and if backing down in silly arguments is the price you have to pay for being with a woman you like a lot otherwise, I’d say pay it.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your input. I was considering what you had suggested. But the way I see it when we had the argument I tried to resolve it right then and there. She didn’t want to listen so I believe I did my part. I mean there has a couple instances that I took the blame to kill it but for this argument…well I can’t do it. I was having fun with her since she initiated the conversation. You would expect this from an 18yr. The sad thing about it she is 42. I believes she has a short temper. I been around her when she went off on several people just like that. She is expecting me to come running back begging. I don’t know about that this time. Can you provide me some more input? I am reasonable person…trust me. But I need to know what kind relationship tactics will work without me looking like the weak one. Last Friday was the last time we had spoke to each other.. I believe she’s trying to get my attention on a social networking website. I posted something first then she posted something on her page. I believe she did that to see if I would respond.

Thanks!

[Ask April Masini]

You’re right. Chronological age has nothing to do with maturity. Your 42 year old girlfriend is playing games with you — and you have to decide what you want your part to be in this relationship.

If you’re concerned about “appearing to be weak” you’re off the mark. Stop worrying about appearances and instead focus on doing the right thing. As long as you worry about how you look you’re playing games, too.

Take the high road. If you believe you did your part and you’re finished, then the relationship is over. If you still want her, then you’re going to have to let go of being right all the time — or at least in this instance — and apologize. You can’t have it both ways. If you’re both being stubborn, you’ll end up in a stale mate. Decide if you want to be right or if you want to be with her — both things won’t work here.

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