[fox11235813]

So I heard about the notorious second chance letter that makes your ex want you back. I dated a girl who was already a real close friend of mine for a month and I’ve been broken for the month. Here’s the thing, I DID NOTHING WRONG! I was, however, clingy, mopey, and a self downer around the end and even though I cleared that up with her, she said that there was just no chemistry (but in the beginning, she was burying her head in my chest and all that). Now I haven’t spoken to her in 11 days or have even been in her presence. If I mail the letter tomorrow, it may take a couple of days.

I want to know if this letter will work for my case,

here’s what I’m thinking by the way for the letter:

“Jessica

Just saying that I respect your overall decision. To be honest, I had an eerie feeling about it anyways.

I’ve mellowed out now, I’m all good! Things are really turning out great for me!

In fact, I’ve got some really cool things going on and ahead of me soon…

Feel free to call me.

-Will”

By the way, I actually DO have some cool stuff going on like friends in my class, cousin going to big college, and a Halloween costume, so that’s not bullshit =P

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, I’ve never heard of a “second chance letter.” ❓ ❓

Second of all, it sounds like she’s not interested in you any more.

Third of all, some of your behavior wasn’t very attractive, as you describe it: [quote]I was, however, clingy, mopey, and a self downer around the end and even though I cleared that up with her, she said that there was just no chemistry … [/quote] It’s understandable that a girl won’t like you if you’re clingy, mopey and a self-downer — and there’s no chemistry. 😳 Rather than write me that you didn’t do anything wrong, it would be more productive to work on these mopey, clingy, downer behaviors — because if you can lose them, you’ll be a better date and boyfriend! 🙂

Fourth, the letter you’re proposing to send her isn’t very heartfelt. It sounds like you’re trying to sell yourself — but not convincingly. Your suggestion she call you isn’t a good one. Women want to be pursued — but they want to be pursued by men they’re actually interested in. 😕

I hope this isn’t too harsh, but I think you’re barking up the wrong tree. My advice is to accept the rejection and appreciate it because it’s going to keep you from wasting time with someone who isn’t a good match for you! Move on and find Ms. Right — she won’t need a letter. 😉

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[fox11235813]

When I said nothing wrong, I meant that I never cheated or was physically harmful. She has been cheated on though, and she’s been pushed/threatened, and one of my goals was to give her a better relationship and make her happy and be there for her during dark times.

When we were together, we got along perfectly. Sadly, though, I was being clingy and not aware at the time (I am now) Then one afternoon, at a party, I was being mopey, and we had an argument on the way home. She started talking about her bad experience with relationships in the past and started talking about the chance of us splitting (and she was crying about it too). When I was clingy, I just didn’t want to leave her hanging, but I realize that I just wouldn’t shut up about the relationship when we had it.

Couldn’t the clinginess, moping, and lack of self-confidence be tied to the chemistry? That is such an easy fix on myself now that I’m aware. She did once have a crush on me.

I ended up mailing the letter, and I recently added that I’m sorry she had to see me in such a way that wasn’t myself and before “feel free to call me” I ended up adding “I’m not sure if it’s a good time though, you have your priorities.”

I think she might be confused right now. She’s actually going through a stressful time because of a family-related financial crisis and she must be emotionally scarred from relationships since the one prior to me and her was apparently full of fighting, arguing, blah blah blah. I think if I had done things better, things could have turned out better and we both could have been making each other happy for a longer time.

also, just so you know, I had already mailed that letter before you replied, and I’ve completely stayed out of her life for 12 days

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good luck! 😀 If you want to read a book I wrote for men who want to win with women, you can pick up Date Out of Your League, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. It will help with your inexperience and give you a lot of advice on how to date successfully. 🙂

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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