[jonbz17]

This is the first time I have ever told anybody of this occurrence, so please take into account how hard this was for me and how sad this is. On April 11, 2011, I met the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life. I was a shy 20 year old college student who had hardly ever talked or even approached his crushes. It was in this tutoring center, where I stumbled upon this Goddess. Her blonde hair, blue eyes, and smile immediately brightened up my day. I sat down across from her and we made eye contact and smiled at each other. She asked me what I was there for and by some miracle, we were studying for the same exam. So we ended up sitting next to each other for the next 2 hours and helped each other out. Along with studying, we also talked about our hometowns, majors, her vacation plans, how hungry she was that afternoon, the fact that she was the only person in her group of friends to be single, etc. To this day, I still have no idea why an epitome of God’s creation decided to talk to an average Joe like me. After the study session, we walked together outside and I felt like the luckiest person on Earth when I was walking side by side with her. Before she left, I asked for her number because I enjoyed talking to her and she gave it to me. This was the last time I ever saw her. I only got 2 hours with her. We would text each other from time to time and have hour long conversations, but the problem was that I would text her first most if the time. Since we had the same class, but at different times, (I had the earlier afternoon class and she had the evening class) I would text her material that was on the exam so she could have a better idea of what to study. She asked if there was any way that she could pay me back, and I said “Yes.” I said if she were to have lunch with me, then we would be even. I reassured her that it was a joke, but she said, “yes.” Unfortunately, this lunch never happened because we had final exams to study for, different schedules, and we both worked a lot. I texted her over the summer, and initially she would reply and reassure me that I could text her whenever I wanted to. But deep down I knew I was texting her too much, but I was just so excited with the prospect of just interacting with a beautiful woman like her. Eventually, on June 9, 2011, I sent her a text and she never replied. I wrote on her Facebook wall about a joke that was between us, she never replied. I found out months later from her status update that she transferred to another campus, which meant that I would probably never see her again. Months later, I sent her another text on New Year’s Day, but she never replied. Out of frustration, I deleted her from my friends list and never looked back. I knew I never had a chance with her. I somehow had this illusion in my head, that maybe if I could tell her how I feel, then I might have a chance. But I faced reality and imagined how out of place she would be if we were together. I would imagine her friends, who are all probably good looking, looking at pictures of us and wonder why she ever settled for me. Over the next 2 years, I would glance at her profile picture and see what she would currently look like, but obviously I was limited because I was not her friend. In early 2012, I found out that she had a boyfriend named Marcelo, who was perfect in regards to looks. After that moment I truly moved on. I believe meeting her changed my life. I thought to myself, if I could talk to a beautiful young woman for 2 hours and end up with her number, then I was doing something right. So for the next 2 years, my confidence with women my age increased. I scored a couple of numbers and went on a couple of dates, but to this day I have neither had a girlfriend nor been kissed. Then in late September, out of nowhere, I dreamt about her. It was the best dream I have had in awhile. In this dream, we were just talking, and she asked why I had stopped texting her and how she still owed me that lunch. We then decided to go to this diner for a cup of coffee and cake. God she looked amazing, but unfortunately I woke up. Like in real life, it wasn’t meant to be. When I woke up, I looked her up on Facebook and found out that she was single again, which I’m not going to lie, made me smirk a little. For some reason, I friend requested her, hoping by some miracle that she would respond, but nothing. Then with my home phone (so she wouldn’t know it was me), I called her. She answered and let me tell you, it was great to hear her voice again after two and a half years. I quickly and nervously told her, “Wrong number.” I followed that up by saying, “Sorry to waste your time. Have a good day.” She said, “Thanks, you too.” It’s been 2 months and I still occasionally dream about her even though, I have accepted that I’ll never end up with her. I know it’s impossible. Why would someone like her, who has probably had many boyfriends, end up with someone as inexperienced and normal looking as me. She’s probably had many guys tell her that she’s beautiful and gone out with them. Hell, she probably never thought about me up until that friend request and quickly brushed it off. Maybe she thinks that I was obviously falling hard for her and simply kept texting me back to be nice. I don’t think I will ever truly move on until I tell her how I feel and confront her and ask, what happened? I want to hear it from her. I want to know what her reaction would be. Until then, I will always cherish those 2 hours I spent with Patricia, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Nothing will ever take that memory away from me. I know I am a desperate loser for still feeling this way years later, but I need an answer to this question, what should I do? Should I call her with my own cell, text her again, or just leave this whole situation alone and leave my memory of her untarnished.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The problem you’re having is that you’re sabotaging yourself. 🙁 The only time you invited her out on a date, for lunch, you quickly told her that the date was a joke. 😕 If you want her to take you seriously, then you have to take yourself seriously. 😉 You are responsible for your dating life — and if you want to kiss a woman, then you have to initiate a kiss. If you want to date her, then you have to ask her out. My advice is not to waste any more time and to ask her out on a date. Don’t tell her how you feel — [i]show her.[/i] 😉

If you want more advice at your fingertips, you can buy and read Date Out of Your League, a book I wrote for men who want to win the dating game — and from what you’re writing, this book will help you. 😉 Here’s the link for the book: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url].

I hope this helps. Let me know how things go.

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