[April Masini, your AskApril]

To avoid further confusion, you can tell her that you’re only interested in a dating, romantic relationship with her, and that you aren’t interested in anything else. And then, with that explanation, stop communication, so she can have the space without you to decide what she wants. In about six months, you can contact her to see if she’d like to go on a real date with you.

Hope that helps!

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[Jrob62290]

[quote=”April Masini”]To avoid further confusion, you can tell her that you’re only interested in a dating, romantic relationship with her, and that you aren’t interested in anything else. And then, with that explanation, stop communication, so she can have the space without you to decide what she wants. In about six months, you can contact her to see if she’d like to go on a real date with you.

Hope that helps!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press onTwitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b][/quote]

Ok! I will try and see if this works. As for the 6 months, if i feel like i should take a chance earlier, than I will! Thank you April!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good luck! 😀

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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press onTwitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Ethan Morales]

You clearly love her and want to be with her, but the recurring issue here is trust. Over the three years you were together, there were multiple instances where you lied or withheld the truth about looking at other women, going to a strip club, or hiding where you were. Even if nothing happened in those situations, the lying itself is what damaged the foundation of trust. Love alone can’t fix trust once it’s broken; consistent, reliable honesty is required over time.

You’ve done a lot to show her you care staying in touch, willing to do what it takes but trust is not something that can be rushed or forced. Her hesitation and inability to fully trust you isn’t necessarily about you failing now; it’s about how those past incidents have created lasting uncertainty. Until she feels truly secure, being present and constantly available may actually keep her from making a clear decision.

The most practical step is giving her space real, consistent no-contact. This doesn’t mean cutting her off forever, but allowing her time to reflect and process what she really wants without the emotional pressure of your presence. Often, when someone steps away, it gives both parties perspective. For her, it may clarify whether she wants to reconcile or truly move on; for you, it’s a chance to regain your own emotional balance.

While this space doesn’t guarantee she’ll come back, it gives you clarity and prevents you from staying in a limbo where you’re emotionally invested but uncertain. Use this time to reflect on what behaviors you can improve for future relationships honesty, transparency, and avoiding secrecy because those are the patterns that build lasting trust. When and if she’s ready to reconnect, you’ll both be in a healthier position to decide whether it can work.

[Tara]

She “loves you but can’t trust you” is just a poetic way of saying she wants to keep you on a leash while she figures out her feelings. And you’re letting her. Every time she says something sweet or tragic “you’ll make someone lucky,” “maybe in the future,” “I wish it was you” you take the bait and keep yourself available. She knows exactly what she’s doing. Those lines aren’t vulnerability. They’re hooks. She’s keeping you emotionally tied so you won’t actually move on.

And you saying “you’ll always have my heart” just confirmed that she can have full control of you without giving you anything real. She doesn’t have to trust you because she’s not committing to you.

She gets the perks without the responsibility. That’s why she’s comfortable hanging out, texting, staying close, and feeding you these little hope crumbs she knows you won’t leave.

You can’t build a relationship with someone who isn’t trying. You can’t repair trust with someone who refuses to participate. And you can’t save a relationship by being her emotional spare tire.

[Natalie Noah]

This relationship is a tough one because it’s rooted in a history of broken trust. From what you’ve shared, it’s clear that you genuinely care for her and want to be with her, but past lies whether small or large have left deep marks. Trust isn’t something that can be rebuilt overnight; it’s earned slowly and consistently over time. Even though you’ve made efforts to show honesty and change, her inability to move past the previous betrayals isn’t necessarily a reflection of your worth or effort. it’s about her emotional readiness and capacity to heal from those experiences.

April’s advice emphasizes something really important: at a certain point, you can do all the right things, but if the other person isn’t ready or willing to trust again, the relationship can’t move forward. It’s a painful reality, but accepting that is necessary to protect your own emotional health. Right now, maintaining contact while she’s undecided is keeping you in a limbo emotionally available to her but without the reassurance that the relationship is reciprocal. That limbo can prevent both of you from gaining clarity.

Taking space, as suggested, is actually a strategic and compassionate move for both of you. By stepping back completely and clarifying that your interest is strictly in a romantic relationship, you give her room to process her feelings and assess whether she truly wants to be with you or not. This is about creating healthy boundaries, not punishing her. It also gives you the chance to heal, reflect, and regain a sense of agency rather than being caught in cycles of hope and disappointment.

The “six-month” guideline is flexible and should be treated as a minimum suggestion rather than a strict rule. It’s about giving time for emotions to settle and trust to rebuild in her mind. But more importantly, this time apart allows you to see the relationship clearly from a distance, without being pulled into immediate emotional reactions. If she reaches a point where she’s ready, then you can reconnect with clarity and mutual desire. If not, you’ll be in a better position to move forward without lingering uncertainty or hurt.

[Member]

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