[intskyline]

Hello, April. I’m from India, I started off in a relationship with a woman, three years older than me. I was very well in touch with her family. Things were going fine when one day she misinterpreted what in said to her and told it to her mom that I that I dictate her life (I came to know this from her sister, who is my great friend and she didn’t lie to me). This was a lot for me as the girl whom I loved, insulted me for something which I didn’t even do. I asked to end it, for which she threatened me to spill the beans of our physical intimacy (not sex). Last Sunday we broke up and she told it. Her younger sister blames me for everything. what should I do, it is disturbing me everyday now

[AskApril Masini]

I’m not sure what it is you want — whether you want to try to get her back, or if you just need help getting through the break up. Let me know! Also, how old are you both, and how long were you dating before the break up?

[intskyline]

I want to get out of it, but insure that she is also good. she hates me like hell now. I’m 24 and she was 27 and we were dating since past 3 months.

[AskApril Masini]

Got it.

You were dating for 3 months, when you found out that she told her mother that you dictate her life, so you asked to end the relationship. And she did. 😕 It sounds like you were very reactive. Another way to have handled the situation might have been to ask her if that’s how she really feels and see if there might be any way you could have changed your behavior to make her happy, without compromising your values. Ending the relationship because you think she misinterpreted something, talked to her mom, and you found out, is kind of dramatic. 🙄 It didn’t need to be.

But since you want out of the relationship, there is nothing else to be done. You’re out. But if you want her not to hate you, then you’re looking to control her feelings. 😕 And…. that’s a form of what she was complaining to her mother about, so I’d try to find a way to be okay with her having her own feelings, especially since the two of you are broken up.

If you move on, you’re going to feel a lot better. 😉 And…. you won’t worry so much about what your ex thinks.

[Sally]

What hurts most here isn’t just the breakup. It’s the betrayal. Someone you trusted twisted your words, involved family, and then threatened you when you tried to walk away. That’s not love. That’s fear and control coming out sideways.

You didn’t deserve to be insulted or blamed for something you didn’t do. And her sister blaming you doesn’t make it true it just means they’re protecting their own version of the story.

Right now, the best thing you can do is stop engaging with them completely. No explaining. No defending. It won’t bring peace. Lean on people who know you and trust your character.
This will settle with time, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet. You didn’t lose your worth here. You lost someone who couldn’t handle honesty.

[Tara]

This woman misrepresented you. Then, when confronted, she escalated straight to threats. That’s not immaturity, that’s character failure. Anyone who threatens to expose private intimacy to control you is not a victim, not confused, not emotional; they are dangerous. Full stop.

Stop worrying about what her sister thinks. Stop caring what the family narrative is. You’re not on trial. You’re clinging to approval from people who already decided you’re expendable. That’s weakness, not loyalty.

You feel disturbed because you’re still emotionally kneeling to people who disrespected you and tried to corner you with shame. She crossed the nuclear line the moment she used your private moments as leverage. That is blackmail in plain clothes. Love doesn’t do that. Decent humans don’t do that.

Here’s what you do now: you cut contact completely. No explanations. No defending yourself. No, trying to “clear your name.” Silence is not cowardice, it’s containment. Anything you say can and will be twisted further. You do not negotiate with someone who threatens your dignity.

If she tells people, let her. Anyone who believes that garbage without hearing you was never on your side to begin with. The truth doesn’t need you to chase it. Lies collapse under their own weight eventually.

[Member]

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