If you ask someone out on a date and they rebuff your offer, they may tell you, “No, thank you,” and that’s that. Game over. But, more likely, you’ll get some less direct response because believe it or not, it’s tough for people to do the rejecting, and they don’t all have the social, emotional and psychological tools to be direct and kind. So you get a muddled message. Or a miscommunicated one. Sometimes, a rejection doesn’t sound like a rejection — and on the flip side, sometimes a rejection wasn’t intended to be a flat out rejection, but it comes out that way. That’s why it’s always good to ask a second time for clarity, and unless the rejection involves some form of strong emotion where you can really tell that the person really doesn’t like you, ask once more, even after a single rejection. The second attempt at a date will give you a better idea of how a person feels because they may say, “I really appreciate your asking, but I’m really not interested.” That’s a rejection you’ll get after a second attempt at a date — not a first one. But you may also get, “I’m so glad you asked again — I was so distracted that day you asked the first time, I don’t think I conveyed my true feelings. I’d love to!”
Bottom line, it’s often a little tough to tell, so you have to do diligence to make sure you’ve really gotten a clear message.
I hope that helps!
