[Booman24]

Hello, my name is David. I have a friendship with an older co-worker that has become very strong. We started by talking briefly at work. Next, we saw a movie together and I’ve spent time with her at her home (strictly platonic). Now, she brings me lunch at work sometimes and we frequently talk on the phone. While visiting her home, I noticed she had photos of a boyfriend she never mentioned because he’s living in his native homeland of Grenada for over a year. A significant thing about her boyfriend’s photo is that she admitted that I kinda look like him with a similar build. One of her sisters even admitted that I favor her boyfriend. Lately, I’ve been building an emotional connection to her. She has been very supportive and giving during our friendship. I recently gave her a birthday gift and she blushed heavily after she asked me to kiss her on the cheek. We’ve talked about our age difference as friends and she has spoken to another friend about our friendship. She admitted to her friend (who thought we were dating) that if we were the same age that dating would be possible. Also, she thinks I”m a good person that’s physically attractive. I”m not trying to be with her, but I don’t want these feelings to isolate me from her. I’m scared to bring up these feelings to her which may pull her away. What should I do?

[AskApril Masini]

Fill me in a little. How old are you both? It would help to know your ages. Also, what is it that you want? Do you want to date her? Or do you want to just be her friend?

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Booman24]

I don’t know her age. However, she has a son that’s older than me and a 10 year old grandson. I believe her age is within 50-60 years old. I’m 27 years old and she knows my age. I just want to be her friend. I don’t want these feelings to be a burden however. I feel that by telling her it could draw her away as a friend because she has a boyfriend. On the other hand, I may draw myself away from her to run from these feelings. These possibilities are realistic and may cause a problem. I would really appreciate your opinion. Thank you for your initial response.

[AskApril Masini]

Got it — thanks for filling me in. 🙂

The reality is that men and women can’t be friends. The reason is that one person always wants more than the other at some time. I think you’re starting to experience that now. The feelings you have for her, or that she may even have for you, are just going to grow if you continue to spend time together. If you really want a friend, then look for a guy to be your friend. And if you want to date someone, and prefer older women, then go for it! But don’t either create an impossible friendship, knowing men and women can’t be friends, or a friend zone situation that you’re sinking into waiting for a dating scenario to magically occur. Know what you want and go for it, but if it’s friendship, find a guy to befriend.

I hope that helps!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Member]

Posts