[logjam25]

So I met this girl on Jan 1st. We have been talking every single day since then. We have hung out 3 times, it’s hard to see one another a lot because we live 2 1/2 hours apart. We both said the distance isn’t a deal at all and we are both already crazy about each other! She sends me a long facebook message every night before she goes to bed and after we get off the phone telling me how much she misses me and how happy she is that she found me. She is a very good girl, church going, doesn’t drink, has a very good head on her shoulders. She told me that she wasn’t ready to date yet though because she wanted us to feel more comfortable around each other and be patient, and when the time was right, it would be perfect! She told me that she wanted this to be serious and she wanted to show me that she was serious about this and not wanting to rush things. For some reason though, the last couple of days I’ve felt as though she hasn’t been as sweet as she was the first couple weeks, she doesn’t say exactly the things I want to hear like she used to, and she doesn’t text me as often. I know she works a lot and is always busy, and even though we talk on the phone at night for an hour or so and she sends me a really sweet message, I still feel a little concerned about it! Probably because I am so fragile after being hurt in past relationships. But I am going to see her Friday, I’m going to try to show her I care a little more and get her some flowers and be really sweet to her. But what should I do to make sure she stays “crazy” about me? Should I act busy one day and ignore her texts until late that night?… Should I do something above and beyond to be sweet to her?… Or should I just not worry about anything and let it all fall into place? She is already planning a 3 day trip with me, her best friend, and her best friends’ boyfriend to stay at a place for the weekend in March. We will have a room together, just the two of us and she told me it would be a great way to spend some quality time together. I just kind of wish we were already “dating” , it would just make me feel so much more comfortable and assured that she really feels the way she says she feels. But what should I do now to better my chances with her?

Thanks!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[logjam25]

I am 23, she is 21, we both got out of relationships about 6 months ago and realize that we are ready for something very serious. She is very mature for 21, so I believe she is ready for that stage.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, just because she isn’t treating you the way you want her to, doesn’t mean you should try to manipulate her into doing so. In fact, you’re still getting to know her, so allow yourself to REALLY get to know her. Don’t commit before you know who it really is you’re trying to commit to. 😉

Second, accept the fact that you’re in a long distance relationship. This is different than an “in town” relationship where there’s less pressure on the communication because if you miss her one day — you can probably see her within the week. Take some of the pressure off of the communications. Understand that some nights she may not feel like talking. Some nights you may not feel like talking. And she’s probably not going to continue to send you long FB messages every day. Decide if you still want her if she doesn’t.

Third, you mentioned that you’re fragile from past relationship hurts. Consider that you may not be ready to try out a new relationship just yet because you’re so fragile. It really sounds like you’re putting a lot of pressure on this relationship because you’re not ready for the chance that it may fail because of past relationship hurts. Understand that most relationships fail, and the ones that DO work out, do so because both people have taken the time and energy to get to know each other and THEN decide if they’re compatible partners. Don’t jump the gun! 😉

I hope this helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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