[Anonymous]

Hello April,

I am writing you in regards to a situation I have been consumed by for the past few months. There’s this man at my work who I have known for a while and during that time, up until a few months ago, I would not see him that often, but he was for the most part polite, nice with me. I had a bit of a crush on him, thought well of him, but didn’t really think too much about it at the time, but I did have a ‘soft’ spot for him. So, recently, he started to pay me a bit more attention to me, I thought perhaps of things I did in the office for going the extra mile in my work that benefited his work, but again I did not do it for him, but just to help out. From there, he started coming more to my office, and I began to realize that it seemed like he was coming to see me for whatever reason, and not for really important reasons (before I rarely saw him). So, I don’t know exactly what he thought of me, but as he would come more, that crush, those feelings that I had for him intensified. I mean, this is a man that I had this crush on, and could only imagine him looking my way, and then it was really happening, and it felt so wonderful, so great, almost like a dream coming true. It basically consisted of him coming to see me more often, and it even felt that if I was talking to another man, about something work related, he would seem kind of jealous and try to interrupt. But then, for whatever reason, he pretty much just stopped coming around. And it’s hurt me deeply. I was and am always thinking about if he had feelings for me or just felt attracted to me briefly. I have feelings for him and feel very empty-handed, as if he made me fall for him, and now, nothing. I am hoping you can help me in how best I can deal with this situation emotionally from here on out. I also wanted to mention I have never really been in a relationship, I come from a religious background that does not tolerate dating/sex before marriage, and I’m not married, and not ‘experienced’ in that regard. But I am just this girl that had a crush, and now I’m heartbroken. From just admiring him from a distance, I think about him all the time. When I see him, it’s so painful, knowing the way he behaved around me before. His behavior has now even somewhat rude and a bit mean towards me, which really hurt. So I am in desperate need of your advice on what to do. I feel that I am in love with him, I have never felt this way about anyone. I cry, thinking about why he doesn’t come around, wanting him to come, and It almost doesn’t matter if he treats me not so nicely, or even ignores me, it’s doesn’t change the way I feel about him. Please help! What should I do, and how do I get over this?! And do you think from his actions he does have feelings for me, or was it just a crush for him? Thank you!!!

[Ask April Masini]

Your description of yourself as “empty handed” was poetic and accurate! 😳 I don’t know your age (please always tell me your age because it helps me temper my advice a lot! 🙂 ), but because you have a background that doesn’t promote traditional American dating behavior, it makes a lot of sense that you don’t know what to do when a man you like likes you back! I can help you!! 😀

Men want to feel that they have a woman that they can win over. It’s a just a basic human behavior that I see in the dating world. If women don’t give those men something to win over, the men feel like there is no chase to be had and no game to be won, and then they move on. That’s what happened with you and your crush. He DID like you and probably still does, but he didn’t get any signals from you that he should proceed. 😳

I want you to buy my book, Think & Date Like A Man, that you can download immediately at this link: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. This book is going to give you EVERYTHING you need to know about being successful in dating. You don’t have to do everything, but you do need to understand everything and then choose what works for you. You’ve been operating without a manual, and this will be your guide. So get the book and read it!! 😀

A very few of the topics you’ll read about include flirting — which you seem to be clueless about. Flirting is a basic tool of relationships because it’s a way for a man to understand that you’re interested without you’re coming out and confessing your feelings inappropriately. The book will actually spell out ALL THE WAYS you can flirt, and ALL THE WAYS you can interpret his body language, behavior and interest in you. If you flirt a little with him, you can reignite his interest, which I believe is what you want!

There’s so much you’ll get out of reading this book that is going to help you in this relationship that I’M excited for you to read it and tell me how you apply it to your real life, and how it works out. 😆 Please keep me in that loop!

And in the meantime, do join me on Facebook. Membership is free at AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. 😀

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