[Walter]

I have a wife who is 32 and I am 34. We’ve been together for 6 years. At first our relationship was okay but in the past few days we’ve been arguing more often. Even small things turn into big fights and neither of us wants to give in. We both get angry and raise our voice. Before, we used to be happy, we go on dates, watching movies and eat out together but now it’s just work and home all the time. I’m starting to feel that the excitement was gone in our relationship. It’s always arguments and shouting now. I’m wondering if there’s still a chance for us to go back on how we were before? Can we still fix the way we treat each other? Should I be the one to adjust because I’m the man? I want to save our relationship.

[Michaela]

First, if you really want to save your relationship, you need to be more understanding and you shouldn’t match her anger during your arguments. You can already see that the result isn’t good, so why are you still continuing it when what you really want is to go back to how things used to be?

What you can do is spend more time together again, start going on dates again and avoid focusing only on work. It’s still very important that you both make time for each other and give attention to your relationship.

[Logan]

You’re both blaming each other. “You did this,” “You did that.” Change it to “I feel bad when.” When you show your weakness, the other person becomes soft instead of defensive.
And stop thinking, “I’m the man, so I should be the one to bend” or “Why should I bend?” This is not a competition. There is no man or woman in a relationship; there is a partner. If you take the initiative, you will not be small, but you will lead the relationship. Leading is real manhood, not just showing ego.
Take a little risk, put a little ego aside, and start chasing her again as you did 6 years ago.

[Member]

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