[Gerwin]

Hey April,
I’m Gerwin, 23 and I just broke up with my girlfriend Keisha after a year. It was not messy or anything but it hit me way harder than I thought. At first I thought I was fine but now I can’t stop thinking about her and it’s messing with my mood and focus at work. I thought I already moved on from her but no….

I’ve tried keeping busy, hanging out with friends and picking up new stuff but I still feel stuck. Part of me still hopes we might get back together even though I know that’s probably not a good idea.
I just wanna move on and feel like myself again, but don’t know how without bottling up my feelings or rushing into something new.

I kept telling myself that we are over and I must move on now. But I don’t think I really can.

How do I get over someone I really cared about? How do I know when I’m ready to love again?

[Karyll Jane]

You will forget her if you keep yourself busy with other things. Distract yourself by going out with friends, spending time on sports you know, playing mobile games, or anything else that can keep you occupied.

In that way, your ex won’t always come to your mind because your thoughts will be focused on what you are doing and what you are busy with.

You will know you are ready to love again when your heart naturally starts to beat for another woman. You will feel excitement and a spark when you talk to her or spend time with her.

[Amelia]

It was a year-long relationship, not a two-day Tinder match. Gerwin’s problem is that you’re trying to move on, but it’s not moving. When you try to force yourself to move on, your mind re-plays old memories at double speed. You’re not missing Keisha, you’re missing the “comfort” you got all year.
I think you need “processing”, not “distraction”. Playing games isn’t the solution to getting Keisha out of your mind. Until you truly feels and digests this pain, you will keep seeing Keisha in every new girl you meet.
By the way, it’s better to focus on your career at 23; otherwise, Keisha is already gone, and your promotion will slip away too!

[Member]

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