[Winston Wolf]

Hi April,

I am in a situation that I don’t know quite how to handle. I have a friend for whom I have very strong desire. She is currently in the process of getting divorced from her husband of 10 years. While she was married I pretty much resigned myself to just being her friend, but now that she is soon to be single I can’t help but want to approach her with my feelings. The only problem is that I really don’t know how.

We are very good friends and I am afraid that if I don’t approach her in the right way, I wll jeopardize our friendship. I have no idea if she is even attracted to me, but I don’t want to hide my true feelings from her. Obviously, approaching a “friend” with overtures of a relationship is tricky enough, but the situation can be extra sticky when someone is just coming out of a divorce. Of course, I intend to wait a while after it’s final so she has time to heal. But I just want to know how you think I should approach her when I feel the time is right to do so.

Thanks,

Winston

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s a good idea to wait until she’s divorced — and to wait until she’s healed. After that, you may be surprised to find she sees you as more than just a friend, too. Invite her out to dinner, and make it a real date. You have to define the date as different from the friendship you’ve had with her, so make it a real tablecloth, candles and wine dinner, with you showing up with flowers, opening and closing doors and pulling out chairs for her — so she sees you differently than she had when she was married. 😉

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