[saige]

Hello
I am facing a situation that i don’t know how to handle. I love my boyfriend and i believe he loves me too,we have been together for 2 years.
2 weeks ago ,we had plans, we were going to spend the day together,however he told me that things have changed, that he will be able to see me for few hours in the AM, since he had to meet his best friend’s ex girlfriend.

For all i know,he was never friends with that girl and i couldn’t understand why he had to cancel our plans for her,i asked him what was so important,he said that he just needed to talk to her.
I was upset,but there is nothing i could about it. Then few days later he tells me that he went to meet the girl, because his best friend asked him to meet her,for something and he asked him to keep it as a secret),that he couldn’t tell me the real reason. And i told him but you could have at least told me that it was a secret just to ease my mind,and i wouldn’t have been upset like i was.

Couple of days ago ,my boyfriend tells me that he has something to tell me because he feels terrible about it,he confessed that he told his best friend a secret of mine(something very private)something that he had promised more than 3 times that he wont tell anyone,he said that he feels bad. Ooh i felt betrayed,i cried so much.
And i remembered how he protected his best friend’s secret but he couldn’t protect mine,i cried like a baby. I can in all honesty say that i am very loyal person, and that is maybe why i feel hurt this much.

I told him,that he hurt me but that it will pass.But little did i know,that i was going to feel worse later on.Everyday when i think about it,i cry,and i feel really hurt and betrayed.
How can i get past this?What if i cant get past this? We do fight like normal couples, but i have never felt like this.
How can i deal with this?Thank you

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[saige]

I am 22 and he is 25

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

It sounds like this is the first time in the two years you’ve been dating, that you’ve realized your boyfriend has a blabbermouth problem and can’t keep a secret. There are people who just can’t keep anything in — they have to talk about it. I know you’re feeling disappointed and betrayed, but you have to figure out why he did what he did.

If he’s one of those people who just blabs indiscriminately, then learn your lesson and don’t tell him anything you realistically can’t expect him to keep on the down low. But if that means you can’t be intimate with him and tell him about your life because you feel that there are things that should remain between the two of you — and he’s unable to keep anything private — then you have an incompatibility that will end up being a deal breaker if you’re sensitive.

Until you figure this out, you’re going to be walking on eggshells wondering if he’s going to be blabbing about your life secrets to others regularly, or if it’s just certain things, and if you can trust him. So, is this who he is all the time, or is there something about the secret you told him that was specifically difficult for him to hold in. In other words, did he tell his friend because he wanted advice on how he should feel and react? Or was he just being indiscriminate about talking?

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