[ecole2016]

I’m a sophomore in college and theres a girl i met freshman year who i still like, but haven’t spoken to in awhile. The first time we met I was kinda stoned, but i got her number because I’m ridiculous funny, laid back and an overall awesome guy when I’m stoned. When I’m not stoned, I’m still an awesome guy, but I’m an awesome guy with a slight social anxiety problem. We hungout maybe three or four times at the beginning of freshman year with other people. After she originally gave me her number I texted her for awhile but we never got to hangout one-on-one and get to know each other because our schedules never worked out, we had a different group of friends and like i said I have a slight social anxiety problem (Im sort of a pussy). So after awhile we stopped responding to each others texts (she stopped responding to my texts) because we had nothing to talk about. I saw her a few times around campus but we never spoke and the last time we communicated was via texted each other was a couple days before winter break.

Jump to this year.

I saw her for the first time this year at a welcome back party on her campus (we go to single sex colleges that “happen” to be right next to each other) and although neither one of us approached one another we made eye contact several times. One time she even stopped with her friends a couple yards from me and “talked” for about twenty mins while she glanced at me several times. More recently (yesterday) when i was in our library on the way to my favorite study spot, i saw her sitting with a group of her friends. I didn’t plan to stop and say anything (bc of my slight social anxiety) but she actually stopped me and said “hi” and introduced me to one of her friends. After literally almost a year of absolutely little to no communication she spoke to me (I don’t think its as big of a deal as that may have sounded). I feel like that means she’s still interested and while theres a lot of girls at my school that I’m physically attracted to and are attracted to me, she’s the only one whose personality attracts me and i could see myself being in a serious relationship with and potentially marry a long way down the road, just kidding (lol seriously though)… Sooo what should I do?

Your help is greatly appreciated,

a handsome, six -three soccer captain with a slight social anxiety problem, who constantly over thinks things

Ps: I ended up sitting with her at the library for almost 2 1/2 and long-story short I said maybe ten things to her and they were all one-word responses, but she didn’t leave (I feel like she would of left if she was uncomfortable). The next time I see or talk to her i plan to say “I was really focused bc i’d been slacking on my work (its the third week of school) and had to catch up??? Also if you don’t choose to make a post responding to this could your refer me to a previous post that might give me some advice. Thanks again.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Stop giving yourself the kid-glove treatment. 😮 You’ve mentioned a social anxiety or a slight social anxiety almost half a dozen times. Stop saying those words. You don’t have anything wrong with you. You’re normal. You don’t have a social anxiety, you’re just afraid of rejection. Welcome to a big club! Now, you need to join the winners who are not afraid to fall on their faces. Sounds like an oxymoron, right? Well, the truth is that people who succeed in life aren’t afraid to make a mistake and they understand that if they DO get rejected — or strike out in an actual game — they will get another chance up to bat. Maybe not with the same pitcher or the same girl, but with someone new.

Long story short, you have to ask her out on a date. There’s no short cut or crystal ball, and until you do, you’ll continue to make up excuses for yourself. Just go over to her or call her and ask her to meet you for coffee. You have to put yourself in the game. It’s that simple! The irony is that women are attracted to men who are confident, so by asking her out, and risking rejection, if she is interested, she’ll be more so with your bravery. And…. other women who know you aren’t afraid to ask a girl out, will find you more attractive, too. Get off the bench and get up to bat! 😀

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go.

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