[YandrichA]

My ex girlfriend and I stated dating very soon after a relationship that had lasted a little over a year with her ex boyfriend. In fact we started talking and getting to know each other as friends while their relationship was coming to an end, which was the last month of their relationship. I decided to pursue a relationship with her just about 2 weeks after they had broken up.

We got to know each other very fast and were together just about every day. Our relationship lasted a couple months of serious “talking”and 4 months of actually dating. She met my family and I was quick to meet hers. We slept at each others houses often, and I got to know her very well. It seemed like we had a great bond.. that is until the last month of our relationship.

I had asked her a before if she still had feelings for her ex and she was very honest when she said she did still have feelings for him. I thought we could work through it, however, it didn’t work out the way I had hoped it would. The last month of our relationship we had began to argue over things she never cared about before. She had gone through stages where she would get depressed and became easy to anger as well as more distant with me.

Finally, she broke up with me. She said she never had time to herself and to heal and really get over her ex. She said she still has feelings for him, and would think about him every once in a while. Her ex is currently in a relationship, and I have heard for a reliable source that she just started going through the grieving process about.

I had asked her right before we broke up if she could still picture a long term relationship with me and she said, as of now I can’t but maybe in the future. She had mentioned in the past that she felt a little guilty when she started talking to me and getting to know me while her and her ex were still dating (does this play a part in what happened?).

After getting to know her I realized she was the girl of my dreams. I am wondering if I give her time to heal, do I even have a chance in the future? Or did she never really like me as a boyfriend? What steps can I take to get her back?

If you could give me any advice what so ever, it would be truly appreciated.

[YandrichA]

Also my age is 24 and she is 23

[AskApril Masini]

You have a really good handle on what happened. 😉 But when you become the rebound relationship guy, there are certain risks.

[quote]After getting to know her I realized she was the girl of my dreams. I am wondering if I give her time to heal, do I even have a chance in the future?[/quote]

You do have a chance. How much of a chance will be determined by her healing process, and how much of a rebound boyfriend you were, as opposed to a Mr. Right at the wrong time boyfriend. 😉 I can’t shake a Magic 8 Ball and tell you about her feelings. But I can tell you that you should ask her out again next year, and see how things go. If you’re single, that is! 😀

[quote]Or did she never really like me as a boyfriend? What steps can I take to get her back? [/quote]

I think she did like you as a boyfriend, but that was tempered by where she was in her own life, as you already know. She may have viewed you as a great boyfriend to rebound with, or get over her ex with. Or she may have thought you were great no matter what the circumstances — but that’s about her, and you’re the one who is writing me, not her. The steps YOU can take to get her back are: 1) Since she’s breaking up with you, be respectful and leave things on as good a note as possible. But…. don’t give her the rebound option. In other words, as much as you want her back, if you tell her you’re waiting in the wings, you’ll be cementing that rebound boyfriend status in perpetuity! You have to let her know you love her, and you’re going to move on, too. You will be a lot more attractive to her if she thinks she may not be able to have you. 😉 2) Come back to her in a year and ask her out on a romantic date that is clearly a date and can’t be misconstrued as anything but a date — so you’re not in the friend zone or the rebound boyfriend zone.

Hope that helps!

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