[Brad8]

I’m having much trouble with a friend I think I’m in love with. We met two years ago and we have both made eachother a priority since we first exchanged numbers. During the first year we were friends and I asked her out 3 times and I got frustrated and hurt a few times so I blocked her out but she was very persistent in not letting me forget about her.
We have a very close friendship and I see her 2-3 times a week and we usually see eachother late at night around 9pm-7 AM when we do and I’ve never spent under 5-8 hours with her each visit the last few months Ive seen her
She knows I really like her and I’m really stubborn so I haven’t quit trying. She’s told me how attractive and amazing I am how much she loves to see me, how great of a kisser I am, and some that I would be amazing in bed, shouldn’t that be enough to say yes to a guy??
I do everything I can for this girl and I occasionally bring her flowers over when I come see her. We even have great sexual chemistry but a lot of sexual tension as well.
I’m 20 and she’s 21 but we aren’t both too experienced with creating relationships we’ve both had one partner prior for our entire highschool period. So neither of us has dated around.
We wrestle every now and then and she likes to talk about sex and other topics but we haven’t even kissed these two years. I just want to know what’s the deal, I want to be with her and she only gives me bs reasons why we haven’t.
Earlier today I saw her because she had car trouble and I brought her to the store for some stuff, during this trip I simply grabbed her butt and she freaked out and I have done this forever. She said that I was going to far and that it had to stop because it would lead to kissing then sex, and I was like what? haha She’s brought stuff like this up in the past like before once when we went to a party she said she wasn’t going to drink because she would have slept with me if she did. I really don’t understand this girl, what can be holding her back so tight?

She’s really messing with my head and this has destroyed my confidence, I don’t know what do to and I would really appreciate any advice given, I don’t want to or care about being friends I want to be with her or not at all, I couldn’t stand seeing her with another guy.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You can’t have everything, so decide what you can have — and what’s in your control. Clearly, she’s confused and she’s not going to be your girlfriend. I applaud you not wanting to be friends with her, because that’s just going to lead to more frustration on your part, but if you walk away and look for a girlfriend who is more appropriate and more interested in dating you, you do run the risk that she’ll find someone else. Of course, it sounds like you’ve really tried everything with her, and she’s not up for being a girlfriend to you. So, my advice is to move on. There’s a chance she’ll realize what she’s lost when you’re gone — but you have to be really gone for her to miss you. On the other hand, you may just find someone who wants to be in love with you the same way you are with her.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Brad8]

Thanks for the advice I really appreciate it, I tried distancing myself in the past but she always made me feel really bad for doing it then I’d come over to see her lol
I’m going to go for what you said and try someone else then yeah most likely my gf if I find one will not be happy with me seeing her anyway at the late hours of the night so that would hopefully help me get over her.

The thing I feel really bad about is that I’m all this girl really has, and I made her my priority also, but yeah she wouldn’t have a hard time finding someone else if she wanted to lol

Thanks so much for your time in writing that though!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome! 😀

Don’t wait for a future girlfriend to help you get over this girl — it’s not really fair for some other woman in your life to inherit this burden. Do your work now, and finish things up so you’re FREE to be single and you’re actually available for love with someone else.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Brad8]

Yeah I definitely don’t want to do that, the only reason I haven’t stopped with her completely yet is because she guilt trips me for not talking to her, long story short, she makes me feel really bad and I end up continuing to see her rather then giving her the boot lol

[Brad8]

like she makes me feel selfish and a jerk for quiting I’ve tried it a few times and it hasn’t worked because I felt wayy to bad

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You can’t blame her for “making you feel” a certain way. 😕 You’re not a victim. You’re in charge of your own life. Decide to live it well! 😀

[Member]

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