[Hopeless_Romantic]

I’ve been with my bf for a few months….not even a week after me and my ex broke up we started dating, then a week after that I moved in with him and his dad.
A week after I moved in, he got put in jail for about 50 days… a week before he got out his dad kicked me out because he was saying how he was tired of his gf and was going to kick her out soon and one day I was at the apartment by myself and his gf came over with more stuff and I was hesitant to let her in cause the last I knew she wasn’t welcome but I let her in cause she was pounding the door and stuff and she got mad and told on me to my bf’s dad so 5min later he comes in screaming at me about how I have no right who to not let into HIS house and how I don’t do anything but sit on my ass all day (not true)…and I told him that the ONLY reason there was food in the house was cause of me (very true)… and we kept fighting and eventually he told me to pack my stuff and get out so I did.
He took my bf’s phone from me (and now I still have no phone) told my bf that he didn’t kick me out and told him that I had a hickie on my boob and that’s why I wasn’t there (a lie)….
My bf didn’t believe his dad (thankfully) and he is out of jail now and is gonna be getting his own place soon but Im going to stay with my parents.

He is the kind of person who NEEDS someone in his life to make sure he stays out of trouble, to MAKE him happy, and make sure he stays motivated.
Not need because he loves me and he can’t imagine his life without me…while I know he DOES love me…I don’t want to be needed as a babysitter.
He needs to learn to be happy on his own and to take care of himself…and I need to learn how to do the same.
Besides…I rushed into it waaaaay too fast (moved in after only knowing him for a week) and need to take a step back and look at everything and see if being with him is really what I want. Even though I love him. You know? Cause, I’m honestly not sure if I should be with him…

Also…I made a list of what I want in a guy…he matches that list 75%…is that enough?

He irritates me a lot for unknown reasons unless we are actually hanging out…and there are things that he says or does that bug me….and I dont know if Im being unreasonable or not when that happens.
He is the type of guy who would rather buy something off of craigslist then save up for a present and he would rather go to order pizza then go out to get it. In my eyes thats kinda of cheap….don’t get me wrong, I love to just hang out at home watching movies but I like to be spoiled sometimes too and he isnt like that. I’d rather have someone who saved the money to get me something nice and new then get something used cause it was less expensive.

I love hims ALOT but how do you know if you are still IN LOVE with someone?

I told him I wanted to go out of state to live with another part of my family and go to school for a bit but he doesn’t want me to…sometimes I feel like he is holding me back….

Please help me, I dont know what to do or think anymore.
Am I just giving up too soon or is he not the right guy for me????

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Wow — you are TOTALLY with the wrong guy!! 😳

You hit the nail on the head when you said that you don’t want to be a babysitter. Well, this guy takes, but he doesn’t give — at least from what you wrote me. It doesn’t appear that you’re getting anything from him except grief.

So here’s your homework:

1. Never move in with any man that you’ve only known for a week.

2. Don’t date anyone who’s in jail. Or who’s scheduled to go to jail.

3. Get your own life together before you begin to date anyone again.

I don’t know how old you are, but you should either be living with your parents if you’re under age, or else working at a job and making a living to pay your own rent by yourself, or with a female roommate or two if you can’t swing rent by yourself, if you’re over eighteen and not in college full time.

And stay away from this guy altogether.

[Hopeless_Romantic]

I just dont know how to end it….I tried and he started the water works…. how do i go about breaking up with him?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This isn’t about him. It’s about YOU.

If he “starts up with water works,” that’s his thing. You can’t control him or his reactions. What you can control is YOU. If he cries when you start to break up with him, YOU walk away.

Here are some really simple steps to help you break up with this guy:

1. Move out today. No explanation required.

2. Don’t pick up his phone calls. If you do, and he’s there, hang up. Simple, right?

3. Don’t return his texts or e-mails. Delete them without reading them first. Easy, again, huh?

4. If he shows up, close the door and don’t take his visits. If he won’t leave, call the police and ask them for assistance.

YOU have the power to take care of this problem. YOU should not spend one more minute with a man who abuses you.

Do it. Today.

I’m here if you need me.

[Hopeless_Romantic]

How is he abusive?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He asked you to move in with him, KNOWING he was going to jail for 50 days and that you’d be alone in the house with his father. His father then kicked you out of the house as the result of an argument. Your boyfriend broke the law in order to be sentenced to almost two months of jail time — you didn’t tell me what he did, so I can only imagine. You say that your boyfriend “needs someone” in his life to make sure “he stays out of trouble” — that’s not the behavior of a man; that’s the behavior of a child. And when you tell him you want to move out of state to live with your family and go back to school, he protests.

All of this is behavior of a man who doesn’t put your feelings first, and doesn’t really care about you. He’s abusing your time and your emotions. You’d be much better off alone, or with someone who respects himself and you.

[Hopeless_Romantic]

Thank you for your advice. 🙂 No one else would really tell me what I needed to hear.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Count on me for that! 😆

[Member]

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