[ThatDewdC]

About a year ago I met a girl at a summer camp. I was an intern and she was a counselor. I was 19 and she was 16. We hit it off really well but there was a problem. She was also young enough to be a camper(she was a counselor for a younger age group). Despite this we dated for about 6 months. It was long distance, her parents hated me, and I was emotionally immature. She broke up with me and I had moved on for about 8 months.
Then about a year after we met she returned to camp as a camper and I was an intern. I tried to avoid her but she payed a lot of attention to me. Eventually I got all the feels back and I invited her out on a date just to see what happens. On the date I felt like it went really well, it seemed like better than old times. I went to kiss her and she pulled away.
We both know full well that I can lose my job by being with her and that last time there were a lot of obstacles. She said she wanted to kiss me but she didn’t want to do this because she wants to protect us both. She moves to my college in a year. She said she isn’t going to hold out or wait for me which I perfectly understand. Im not going to wait either. At the same time Im all emotional and I cant help but hope that we do end up meeting up again. I cant tell if she feels the same way. When I said “Maybe we’ll talk in a year” she said “the possibilities are endless dear boy”. Do you think she actually wants to be together but wants to see what happens in a year or is just softly rejecting me?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t think she is stringing you along. I think she’s being very mature by not wanting to start something up where your job would be in jeopardy, and at the same time, letting you know that when she’s in college, she’d be open to seeing you. Camp situations are very emotionally and sexually charged because you’re in a confined area with attractive people, having fun for the summer. It makes sense that you’re all thinking about dating — but…. she’s definitely doing the right thing and so, too, are you by waiting. I think you have a shot with her when she’s in college. 😉

[Sally]

I don’t think she’s playing you. I also don’t think she’s secretly promising anything. What she’s doing is choosing the safest option for herself right now. The job risk, the age stuff, the past mess that’s real pressure.

Pulling away from the kiss wasn’t rejection. It was restraint. And that line she said? It sounds poetic, but it’s also non-committal. It keeps the door cracked without promising to walk through it.

She probably does feel something. But feelings aren’t the same as readiness. And she was clear she’s not waiting.
So no, you’re not crazy for hoping. But don’t hang your life on maybe. Let it be what it is: unfinished, but not owed.
If it circles back one day, great. If not, you didn’t lose your dignity waiting.

[Tara]

She is not choosing you, and she is not confused. You are clinging to ambiguity because it hurts less than accepting rejection. If she wanted to be with you, she would be with you. Full stop. Instead, she set boundaries, protected her future, protected your job, and walked away emotionally while leaving the door theatrically cracked so you wouldn’t implode on the spot.

That line about “the possibilities are endless” wasn’t a promise it was a polite exit wrapped in poetry. She likes you, she feels something, but she does not want the consequences, the risk, or the version of life that includes you right now. You are emotionally romanticizing a situation that is legally risky, professionally stupid, and fundamentally one-sided.

She’s moving forward with her life and keeping you as a “maybe” because maybes cost her nothing. You hoping for a year-from-now reunion isn’t loyalty or love, it’s avoidance of reality. The reality is this: you were a chapter, not the destination. Stop reading into words meant to soften a no. Walk away clean, regain your dignity, and stop orbiting someone who already chose distance over you.

[Member]

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