[Anonymous]

I have been in a long term relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years now. She is based in Michigan, US and I am in Melbourne Australia. I am working as a Business Analyst for the last 3 years and also on my Online marketing business which I started 6 months ago. She has just completed her PHD from Michigan. After applying for a lot of jobs she has finally managed to secure a role in a university in Corpus Christi. Now she wants me to move to Corpus Christi with her. She is aware there is no job prospect for me there. She wants me to move there and focus solely on my Online business and work from home. I am not making much with my Online business yet and like my professional career and to stay in it until I make a breakthrough in my business. Also Corpus Christi is not a nice place to live in and Melbourne is one of the best cities in the world. She doesn’t wants to move to Melbourne because of limited job prospects. What do i do? Breakup or move there? Even if I move to US and get a job in another state we will still be in a long distance relationship which is not desirable. If I move to corpus christi (even if I was successful in by business) I am not sure if i will be happy there. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[Ask April Masini]

I’m afraid that you and your long distance girlfriend have hit a deal breaker in your relationship that signals the end of it. It would be a mistake for you to move to Corpus Christi for her knowing that your career would be severely hurt by doing so, and your not liking that city as much as where you are now, to boot. She’s made it clear that she doesn’t want to move to Melbourne where you live because of limited job prospects there for her, so you’re both being very clear that this relationship that survived long distance for three years, is now done. 🙁

What you aren’t saying, but what’s coming through loud and clear is that both of you have made your careers your priorities, and your relationship distance fit your careers. There’s nothing wrong with that, but now she’s wanting you to move unsettling the balance and the status of the relationship that’s worked for three years.

I think it’s going to be better for you (both) in the long run to let this relationship go, and next go round, look for someone local to date. Geographical compatibility is important.

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