[HoneyBeatz]

Hello. I have an interesting case here I’ll try to keep it short and to the point.
Hopefully someone can help.

I just recently started seeing this guy. Obviously I like him. Problem is so did my cousin. I had known this guy for almost half a year and our feelings for each other came out at a friends party. This was also the first time my cousin had met him and said just fell for him.

After a long talk she told me to go for it and I room that as a good sign except she didn’t expect me to actually start seeing him. Most of the relationship did start because he took most of if not all the initiatives to move forward. I was on cloud 9. Till my cousin found out.

Now she says I’m going to have to choose and she’ll make it easy for me and drop out. I don’t want to have to choose and this has put a lot of stress on me and It’s only logical it would spill into this new relationship. Not good. I don’t know how to feel about it. Should I feel guilty…go forward or is it moraly bad to turn your back on a family member who is also your best friend like that?

Second thing, I obviously feel guilty for how everything has turned out. Not only that but all of a sudden I’m starting to feel all these insecuritys. He still talks to his ex and even though he has assured me I am not a rebound I can’t help but feel bugged when I heard from everyone and he did confess to our friend the night I found out he liked me he felt he wasn’t over her yet. He told me he could stop talking to her if it did bother me but I didn’t want him to feel like that since I have an ex who’s still my friend and I don’t want to put something on him like that so early since we just started.

The third thing is he got back from a week long trip and we’ve only really had very minimal time to see each other since then. When he came back we hung out for memorial day and it was great fun. We made out and got a little into it and I think I messed up. I asked him if we should go a little further…and that was mistaken for sex. He told me he was a very traditional guy (Which I greatly admire and appreciate) and I told him that was fine and I didn’t mind to wait till he felt more emotionaly ready but I never clarified I didn’t mean sex cause I don’t jump into that either. At the same time I know he probably had to take a good long shower afterwards. But since then he’s been a lot quieter. Usually he texts me good night or just randomly pops in to say how he misses me. This week It’s been a little quieter. I don’t know how to address this and I hope it didn’t ruin my chances. How do I know and how can it be adressed?

He kinda lives off two places and he had said on Monday that he most likely would have to stay at that place for 2 weeks since its closer to his work and money for gas was tight and if he could figure a way to make it up closer to where I live he would so we could see each other for a bit. He didn’t let me know he was at his place closer to me and I drove down that direction to see if I could see him and he tells me he’s not around there. But he was with some friends. I almost flipped out but tried to keep cool and told him that was great and to have fun. But now I’m all sorts of confused. Am I wigging out? I don’t want to be that kind of girl who makes a guy feel trapped. Maybe its not even me. But ya know us women…worst case scenarios go through our minds all the time.

This guy is amazing and I don’t want to screw it up if possible. Then again there is issue number 1. Help! Would love to hear from the fellas too!

[Ask April Masini]

As far as your problem with your cousin goes, since you didn’t mention your ages, I’m guessing she’s young because her reaction to your dating this guy even though you both liked him, was wildly immature. He chose you! You didn’t play dirty or unfairly — it was his decision to date you and not your cousin, so her choice to back away from you was kind of lame. 😕

That said, I don’t think this relationship you’re in is going to go too far. 😳 You’re breaking some cardinal rules from my book Think & Date Like A Man, and it would be a good idea for you to read it. You can download it here, and it’s only $15.95 and a quick read that will help you A LOT!! [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]

You should never chase a man, or be the aggressor in sex — especially when you haven’t even had sex yet! 😮 It was a mistake for you to suggest you take things further, sexually, when he clearly wasn’t quite ready, and he’s backed off since then. Also, you shouldn’t go driving around looking for him without his inviting you to visit him. It’s not good manners, and it makes him think you’re on the desperate side. 😥

So, if you want to try and salvage this relationship, download Think & Date Like a Man tonight and read it this week. It will really help you get back on track.

I hope this helps.

Check me out on AskApril.com on Facebook where you can become a free member and chat about relationships with everyone and me there, too. Here’s the link: [url][/url].

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