[mimi_3_08]

I am in a 6 month relationship with a guy ok it started like this we met and the nite we met he asked what I was looking for and I told him a relationship he stated he had just got out of one so he insisted that we exchange numbers to talk n see where it goes so we did he called me that same nite i didn’t answer becuz I was thinking ok he just wants sex so I told myself that I wouldn’t talk to him ok so all nite long he called n called n sent text saying he wanted to get to know me n all that so the next day he called I answered I agreed to a date that day so we went on the date hit it off really well and we were inseparable from that point on together everyday all day so about a month in he comes sits me down n tells me that his ex was pregnant 9wks so i of course went off I’m like oh no i cant deal with that but he convinced me that the relationship with them was over and that I’m the one he wanted to be with he wants to make our relationship work n I don’t have to worry about him going back to her and he was in love with me and all that so I gave him a chance now the whole 6mths I have been disrespected by this woman she calls his phone all hours of the night n day n calls me saying that they are sleeping together and that he yells her he’s just using me until the baby is born and then they are gonna get back together and when I try to get some understanding and clarity from him that she is lying he gives me nothing he shuts down he has never made me feel secure like I’m the one he loves regardless to the fact she is carrying his child what am I supposed to do I feel like he’s gonna break my heart I love him so much I have never loved anyone so much in my life but i have never felt ao insecure in my life either this has caused me to lose excessive weight and my self esteem has went to an all time low I feel worthless and used but I don’t wanna give up on my relationship if he does really live me but how will I ever know how he feels if he don’t tell me and he don’t show me please help me Idk wat to do !!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I know you love him and don’t want to break up, but if you stay with him, he will continue his relationship with his ex and their child. She will be in his life for the rest of his life because of the child they have together. If his relationship with her isn’t a good one, as you can tell, this will affect your life.

That it already has to such an extent that your health is negatively affected, my advice is to break up and moving on right away. A healthy relationship is not one where you feel insecure, scared and are losing weight as a result of the stress involved.

You have choices in life, and you get to choose who you date. My advice is you choose someone who respects you, has a good relationship with his ex, and makes you feel good about yourself and the relationship. This isn’t Mr. Right. 😳

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[mimi_3_08]

Ok so she started calling him today at 5:30am and I asked was she in labor n he said no so I asked what did she want and he replied that I was meddling in their business so I’m like oh hell no if I’m meddling u need to go its over I’m done well he hasn’t left he’s still here he even asked if we could have sex I never replied like he did me so now he is in the bedroom playing a game like everything is ok I didn’t want to argue so I sent him a text message and told him that I don’t wanna do this anymore and that he needs to leave I also asked him what does he expect from me how does he expect me to be secure enough with him having a relationship with her for the sake of their child when I can’t even ask a question like why is she calling that time of morning if it was no emergency or anything whatever she had to say could’ve waited till day break I’m sure and mind u he never told me what she called for either so how do I get him to know that iam serious that it is over I can’t deal with this unless he shows me that iam the one and that I don’t have to feel threatened by her and if I do its his job to fix it she should know that he’s in a relationship with someone that he loves n respect him enough to not cause problems iam 41 years old and he is 44 and she is .in her 40s as well I feel iam way to old to be arguing and all that over a man smh !!! 🙁

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re playing the victim. 🙁 You tell him what you want. He doesn’t do it. And you stay with him and act out and become angry. Follow the logic here, and you’ll see that he’s not going to give you what you want, no matter how you try to convince him, berate him, or interfere in his relationship with the mother of his child. 😮

If you don’t break up with him, this will continue. But it’s YOUR responsibility to break up with him. You have to take the action. You can’t wait for other people to take care of you here. 😳 It sounds like he’s living with you, and unless you’re firm about his leaving, this is going to continue. You hold the key to your peace and happiness here, but if you don’t use it, and pretend that you’re the victim when you’re not, you’re going to continue to be an integral part of this drama.

Wake up and smell the coffee — and start taking charge of your own life by ending this today and having him move out today. You can box up his things, put them in storage or drop them off at a friend or relative’s house, and change the locks. It’s that easy. 😉

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