[heartmonster]

Ive been dating and living with my bf for about 3 years and everything was great until he suggested a threesome. I dont really like girls, but I agreed to do it for him because he said it was something he really “[b]needed[/b]“. Needless to say the whole thing was a horrible experince,. and we decided to never touch that subject again. Ever since that happened i have been completely paranoid because i know he isnt satisfied in that department and there is nothing i can do to help. He isnt really interested in having sex with me anymore,. and it is something i kind of understand because it has become a routine which isnt fun. Ive also started going through his things,. because he seems so unhappy., and have found out that he is talking to his x girlfriends again and has also been looking at an extreme large amount of escort adds online(i havent confronted him about this yet),,. he seems to be in search for an escort that lives around our area. I really dont know what to do,. every time i try talking about the sex problem to come up with a solution,. he doesnt want to talk and we end up arguing and because of that we are alwways just bitter and unhappy around each other now.

the relationship ive worked so hard at for years now is falling appart… and it is heartbreaking. if anyone has any advice please help me.

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Look. I know you’re heartbroken that you’ve worked hard at this relationship and it’s falling apart, but sometimes you have to stop throwing good money after bad, as the saying goes. This relationship clearly isn’t working out, and you need to recognize that the two of you are incompatible. Don’t blame or pass judgment. Instead, be happy for the good times you had, but know that it’s time to break up and move on.

[heartmonster]

thank you very much for your honest advice. It was also very prompt too.🙂 thank you!.
Is there anything you think we can do to fix the problem…, or should breaking up really be the solution.., i mean I am 25 he is 27 and ive been married and divorced before,… i honestly really dont like just running away from the problems instead of fixing them,.. because it is a mistake i made before,,. that lead to my prior divorce.

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

I completely understand your not wanting to make the same mistakes twice and that you really want to be mindful of your relationship decisions, but this relationship you’re in now is dead in the water. For your own edification, read the posts in this forum where there’s been a threesome in the relationship, and you’ll see how destructive they are.

But your problem goes beyond that threesome. Your boyfriend has checked out. He isn’t interested in sex with you anymore. (Flashing red light.) He’s contacting his ex-girlfriend. And he’s looking for a paid escort. Do you need a neon sign to tell you this is a bad situation for you? 😆

I know you don’t want to make a mistake, but you need to take a broader look at what making a mistake is. Working at something that is doomed, is a mistake. My guess is you’ve been working too hard for too long on a relationship that isn’t right for you (or him).

Get my book, Think & Date Like A Man, that you can download here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. Read it and understand how to pick Mr. Right, because you need some guidance choosing the right guy. Clearly, you know how to work at a relationship, but you don’t necessarily know how to choose the guy to work WITH!

I hope that helps, and I wish you luck! 😀

[Member]

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