[hnc123]

The man I’m dating as of a year and a half (we are both in our 40s and I’ve been married too) has introduced me to his family on more than one occasion (even welcoming me to the family) however he is not moving very quickly on his divorce and is still living with his “wife” for her convenience even though they have no children. She is finishing graduate school at his expense and is not working hard to leave and he isn’t pushing her out the door, in fact, she calls him a lot and finds ways to stay in his life and he knows this is frustrating to me. He tells me he loves me and is in love with me and wants a future with me, however, he only wants to see me at his convenience and usually it’s just once a week, even though I ask for more time with him. He has two properties with his ex and has told me during our year and a half together that he is putting them on the market but doesn’t. He has only seen his divorce attorney once during their 3 year separation but always tells me that he will be making an appointment with the attorney but doesn’t and blames her for not being able to make up her mind of the divorce agreement. He talks about his wife a lot (she has a history of bipolar) and tells me how frustrating his life is with her. He does’t tell her about me (all she know is that he is dating) and he doesnt want me to meet her. He has also told me that “it’s scary to change your life” and he gets defensive when I ask about his divorce.

Am I missing something? I am being very patient and I love him but I’m not sure if he is truly serious about ending things with his ex even though he says he is…

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Am I missing something? I am being very patient and I love him but I’m not sure if he is truly serious about ending things with his ex even though he says he is…[/quote]

😯 😯 😯

Yes. You are missing something. You’re missing the word “Welcome” stamped on your forehead because you are getting stepped on big time — and you’ve turned yourself into a human doormat.

For a year and a half, you’ve dated a man who is married and living with his wife. What more do you need to know? He’s using you. Get yourself together and get out of this relationship — yesterday, if possible!

The only mixed signals you’re getting are from your own brain — sorry if this is harsh, but you’re not seeing what is so clear. If a man is married, and he hasn’t gotten divorced in the entire year and a half you’ve been dating, and you say he’s had a three year separation 😮 during which time he’s living with his wife — and they don’t even have any children to co-parent — I’ve got some swamp land to sell you!! 😕

I hope you’ll take this post as a long overdue wake up call.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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