[Teach76]

I need serious help..to the point I am going to a therapist/doctor tomorrow to seek treatment because I am so distraught and depressed. I wrote here earlier about a man who pursued heavily for 2 years. He visited twice from several states, at a very large expense to himself, and he kept VERY regular contact…like a man in a relationship would. I KNEW he cared for me. I tried to back off a bit after he left from his visit and he STILL continued pursuit while saying we couldn’t manage a long distance relationship.

I guess my bitterness and self anger has taken over and I feel he was unfair to me also, which has lead to SEVERE depression. Right now, I can’t get out of bed because I feel hope is simply gone. I haven’t met anyone like him that I connected to and now a friendship is also gone due to our romantic involvement plus I feel as if I met possibly one of the best guys I’ve ever known.

He continued pursuing after he left and said things he shouldn’t have (regarding our future and his intent to return and discussions of marriage, moving to my state). After two phone calls he verbally committed to but didn’t live up to, and some behavior that was suspect, his calls have slowed down just this week.

This situation was my fault for becoming intimate with him, but I absolutely do not think I was crazy in thinking he was serious from the things he told me, which led me to feel that I was safe with him (over 2 years). My friends completely agreed when I asked them to assess as well. I don’t know how to trust men…it seems this always happens and they will say anything. So that leaves me being very wary and fearful of being vulnerable. Is he really a BAD guy and I didn’t see it… was I played? I feel really confused.

Right now, I have to let him go and get power back over my heart and mind regardless. I cannot be in this shape anymore and it is disrupting my life entirely. He wants to remain friends and says he doesn’t want to lose me. Part of me worries that it will shut down any future possibilities if I blow him off. However, I am suffering greatly because I am in love with him.

He is a Facebook friend and CONSTANTLY comments on ALL of my posts. Any advice how to help me move on? Is it a knee jerk reaction to unfriend him to help get my feet back to solid ground? …This is what I am thinking I should do but not sure… my emotions are such a wreck that I don’t want to do anything ultra stupid but I have to take care of ME.

Thanks for the help…

[mikep1022]

I am a guy and I’ve been severely depressed twice in my life. Make sure that you seek professional help immediately. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it because your life actually depends on it. There is a good chance you will consider suicide if you do not address this immediately.

– DON’T defriend this man on FB. Just leave FB alone for now until you have recovered from depression

– DON’T try to save your friendship right now

– TELL him that you are depressed and that you need to seek professional help right now

– DON’T get into a long discussion with him about why you are depressed. Just tell him that you need to seek
help and that you are not seeking to end your relationship

– AGAIN, DON’T let anyone talk you out of seeking help. I remember doing the same thing. Not being able to get out bed and feeling the hope was lost

– YOU WILL RECOVER if you seek help. Depression is not permanent. However it can last a long time. I still have residual effects of depression nearly 7 years later, but it is not severe or overwhelming. It is very manageable

– EVALUATE your relationships after you have recovered to a manageable level of depression

[AskApril Masini]

Since you’ve written several times on this topic, it will help me help you if you repost this question as a “reply” to your last question to me. That way, I can see all of your history in one place.

As soon as you do, I’m more than happy to answer your question there. 😀

[Member]

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