[Bloody]

HI, I need help and I think my over analyzing of things is just making everything worse.

We met few years ago on collage. We have one more year to go together until we got ours MA degrees.
We hear the same subjects, so we use to talk and grab a coffee in between classes almost every day during the semester. In that period, three years ago, I though he was cute, so I add him on Facebook and we started to chat regularly.
However, I wasn’t so serious when it comes to being with him, at least I was convincing myself that way. I liked him, but for some reason I didn’t want to confess that to myself. So, we started to chat about everything and I realized he is some kind of my soul mate, it was like he is the male version of me. I liked that. After a while, we started to chat about some sexual topics, and everything between us became somehow full of chemistry, which I interpreted as a great sign since I didn’t want to be caught in a friend-zone. But, one night we chatted about us in a potential relationship and we disagree about many things, so after that conversation, we somehow stopped our chatting and he found a girlfriend. That was three years ago. In meanwhile I was dating some guys and I was great.

But, in April this year, I started to analyze him again and I realized that I was in love with him all this time. My problem is that he now has a new girlfriend, who can be consider to be the old one since he’s with her almost two years. And I’ve done a lot of things to get him back to chat, and I managed to do that. We started our late night conversations all over again and he confessed me he used to wanted me so bad, especially in that sexual way, but still I do not understand if it was only sexual why did he chat with me for hours, and why is he doing that now too? I would expect him to offer me one night stand or something like that but not to lead long and hard conversations about Shakespeare or Mathematics in nature?
However, I told him I am in love with him, and he insisted to take a walk with me to talk about it, and we did, and nothing happened. We just talk about it and that’s it.

So, I don’t know what to do now, and I know I have to do something because I know he likes me, I even think there is a great possibility he’s even in love with me, but somehow I think he considers my character to be too strong for him to handle. It is like he can handle girls who are nodding to everything he says, but he’s attracted to me because I am not afraid to argue and to disagree with him. According to him we are too different, but I don’t thinks so. Recently he suggested it would be better not to chat anymore after I told him that our flirty conversations are really bad thing because he has a girlfriend and how that’s not right. He agreed and told me that we shouldn’t be chatting anymore. After twenty days he started to chat with me again. He’s chatting with me since then, even though we are not acting flirty, and we are not mentioning my love for him. We are acting normal.

I am beautiful young woman and I know he thinks that too. I am smart and educated. We share too many common things, and he is aware of the fact a lot of men find me attractive. I am outgoing, I travel to rock concerts a lot, but at the same time I am a passionate lover of books and cinema. He is more into philosophy and books, and that is what I like about him. He seems so calm, but I feel that fire inside of him and that makes me crazy.

He also asked me what I think about his girlfriend and I was honest saying how he is way too much better than her in every sense. I didn’t want to be mean to tell him how I think she is not pretty and how she is insecure and jealous. And I’m not the only one how sees her that way.

So, I want to know how to make him understand that we are a perfect match and what should I do to make him take a risk of being with me? I don’t know is it better to be in contact with him like we are friends or should I offer some kind of a silent treatment to tease him and make him curious? I am afraid that he will withdraw himself if I offer him a silent treatment and that he will run back to her since his zodiac sign is cancer and I’m afraid he’s not so self confident. So, HELP! I’m sure that he’s the one, but these thoughts are making me insane.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

You should read the book I wrote for women who want to win the dating game called Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], so you can get all the advice on tips on how to find, get and keep Mr. Right.

Being friends with a man doesn’t work, and knowing when to flirt and when to move on because you’re investing to much time in someone who’s not showing interest, are all important to understand.

I know you’ve got a lot going for you, but my advice is that you date other people so you’re not investing too much energy in someone who doesn’t ask you out on a date. In the meantime, you can keep flirting with him, but being too available to him isn’t attractive. The idea is to give him something to chase after. If he does, he’s interested. If he doesn’t, he’s not.

Hope this helps! 😀

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