[luckylobo]

I have been talking to this woman for about 3 months now. She called me a few times, I’ve called her a few times, but mostly talk over the snapchat app. Even had video chats here and there. Was hesitant on telling her I am deployed because a lot of women that I had met before just ghosted on me after being upfront with them about my deployment, but I told her I was working at the post I am stationed at in the States. Decided when I started to really respect her as a person and began seeing us as something that could work upon my return, to tell her I am deployed. She decided to think on the information for a day and told me “we can only be friends nothing more. Ever. I can’t forgive someone for lying to me even once.” I explained why I lied about it, and gave her the reasons, she still said “a lie is a lie. Wish you didn’t lie to me, but you did. We can’t change that.” But after she epicly friend zoned me, she decided not to block me, kept looking at all the pictures I was posting on snapchat, and video called me. Guess I really needed to know that it was raining, she rearranged her living room, and she wasn’t wearing pants. Told her I am really confused and don’t know what she wants from me, but no answer. Instead she blew up my snapchat feed and sent me a picture at the end of the day of herself saying “I’m so exhausted right now :,D”. I am super confused, and don’t know what to do. I care about her, and wish there was a future between us, but she shot it down real quick, and I want to move on from that. Can you tell me what she is thinking??

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re right — it’s better not to lie, especially about something as important as your being deployed. But not just because it’s not good to be dishonest — but because there are women out there who will respect what you’re doing and will want to be with you over the long-distance and when you return. When you lie, you don’t give yourself the opportunity to find them!

This woman sounds like not only doesn’t she want to wait around for you, but she’s very rigid about your not telling the truth and your reason. To me, your reason for not being upfront for the first three months of talking to her, makes sense. I get it. And that you did disclose the truth before ever dating her, seems entirely forgivable. But that’s me. That she’s so strict about all of this means you’ve gotten to know her in this way without dating her! You may have saved yourself some time an energy!

That she’s flirting with you via online images means just that — she’s playing. It doesn’t mean a lot more than that. Maybe she figures you played with her (as she sees it), so now she’s playing with you. Regardless, I think you should explore other options in dating and not focus too much energy on her given all that you’ve written here. Hope that helps! 🙂

[Eric Morgan]

The girl has put herself on the moral high ground by calling you friends, but she doesn’t want to lose your attention. When she calls without panties or sends pics of herself, she’s playing with your emotions. She wants you to miss her, but she doesn’t want to take a commitment.
And Ask April was right that maybe the girl is taking revenge or just enjoying the attention. You should move on and explore new options.

[Member]

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