[ashleyrid8]

I was in a relationship with a guy for about 3 years. We started as being best friends and began dating soon after. We were perfect. He was a really nice guy! But my parents were not very fond of him so I explained him the situation and we eventually broke up. He was really mad at me in the beginning but he understood how important my family’s opinion were to me and he wanted us to stay best friends even after, which I agreed. After 2 years of our best-friendship now (dating disguised as friendship because we became physical occasionally), he has finally moved on and found another girl but I’m having a hard time. I am so heart broken that he has someone else in his life now more important than me. I never felt the need to date someone else because I didn’t realize we were only best friends.

I know it is not his mistake because I broke up with him initially but still I’m really really mad at him. May be because I can’t see him with anyone else. He was supposed to be MY best friend! I tried breaking all contacts with him but I couldn’t .Should I ask him to be still best friends with me till I find someone for myself? Of course, we can set ground rules such as he should not talk about his present gf. Just like he wanted to stay in touch with me when we broke up so that I could help him move through the tough phase, should I ask him to do the same? I am not very interested in dating some other guy right now but I know that when I find someone else, I will eventually move on. But till then is it okay to be in touch with him? Coz he was my only true friend.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m sorry you’re upset. 🙁 The one big lesson that should come out of this is that men and women can’t be friends — one person always feels more than the other and this leads to confusion at best and hurt feelings at worst. If you were really his friend, you’d feel happy that he met someone new. But you don’t feel that way. You’re jealous and you’re sad that he’s not yours any more. And you want to be “friends” with the condition that he can’t talk about this new girlfriend — that’s not friendship. So it’s time to take care of yourself! 🙂 And that means you have to get over the notion that the two of you were friends. You had a romance and you broke up with him because of your parents. Now it’s time for you to honor that commitment you made by breaking up with him for your folks. And…. you’ll have a much easier time of moving on if you look for a true best friend — not someone you’re romantically and physically involved with as a best friend. 😉 I know it’ll hurt at first, but breakups hurt under normal circumstances. 😳 Time to be truly single, and to let your ex go — and that’s the best way for you to find someone with whom you’re compatible to date. 🙂

[Member]

Posts