[heytherelovedones]

A little flashback: My bf slapped me HARD once due to his temper.. maybe it was my fault, ONE thing I learnt from there – NOT to provoke one’s rising temper. When we argued, he tend to punch things around. Once, he got so angry because I was being friendly to some tourists (we had to share a table during lunch), and when we got into the car, he stopped somewhere and literally PUNCHED the ground ’til the knuckles bled. I was once a friendly, easy-going and carefree.. I changed into someone else, just to please or at least to “secure” him. I know I sound stupid here but, I guess love can really turn u into a fool 😉.
Some say, some a guy starts punching/kicking things, it’s as if they’re releasing their anger at “you”. We broke off for at least 3 months and somehow, we got back together as we still have feelings for each other.
All these happened a year back, and I forgave him. [b]We’re planning to get married[/b]. Things were great (oh, when he’s happy) and recently, he has this temper back. For instance, I was out with my girl friends at a cafe and I told him I’ll be home soon. But one of the girls needed my help to send her to somewhere, so hey, you gotta be there for your friends right? I did and I came home quite late, and explained that to him, but he literally scolded me with all kinds of rude remarks (e.g useless, no “principles”, stupid, etc). This happened quite a few times.. and I am the one who always have to give in. He keeps telling me, he is this and that good towards me and I am sooo awful for being a girl friend. In fact, I cut all my “guy friends” to just to please him.. let alone my girls night out to clubs.
My family and friends hate him, pressuring me to leave him. I’ve been giving in so much. Sigh. [b]What should I do? Will he lay his hands on me again? Is there a future for us? Should I just leave him?[/b] (this is seriously hard) I’ve tried telling him regarding his temper but he always says, “Ok ok I’ll work on that, sorry”.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m going to answer your questions, but I seriously doubt you will take my advice, or the advice of your loved ones. 🙁

So here goes:

Yes, he will lay his hands on you again.

Yes, you should leave him.

No, there is no future for you with him.

You’re an abused woman in an abusive relationship and your pattern, like that of other abused women, is to go back over and over and over again until things get so bad that you get help or until you, by some miracle, snap out of your pattern of committing to being a victim.

Marrying this man is a huge mistake. So is dating him. So is being in his presence at all.

If you have children with him he will probably beat your children, too, so if you have sex with this guy, you should probably have your tubes tied first. It’s really wrong for you to risk getting pregnant with a man who has a history of physical violence.

I hope you’ll report his violence to the police and get out of this relationship pronto.

I hope that helps — let me know how it goes.

And join me on Facebook. Here’s that link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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