[Anonymous]

Ive been dating my fiancee for alost 4 yrs now and we have been engaged almost 1 yr and he is looking at buying a house and has already begun the loan prosess. I have not been truly happy in the last 6 mos since my mom passed away, ive wanted to go and do other things, things that i have never wanted to do. like party and not have to explain my self and be able to go and do as a plz and not have to worry about who i have to answer to for this. i guess i should say that im 19 and he is 28. i am still a full time student work a full time job as a supervisor in a company and still try to make this work. but it just isnt working right now. But the last two weeks i have been talking to this guy at work who is very nice and in kinda the same boat that i am in but he is married and has a lil girl and a boy on the way but he says that he doesnt want to be with his wife any more and is sure that this is what he wants and i talking to him about our relationships we have become very close to each other, i mean we see each other every night at work and then we talk at least 3 or 4 times a day before and after work and tonight he kissed me and i kissed him back, i know that it was wrong of both of us and we shouldnt have put our selves into the situation but it has happened and in a way im glad that it did because it let me see the other side of the fence where i dont have to be perfect and do everything just right but i was just needing some advice on what to do. oh and the guy at work says that he would love to try and make a relationship between us and that he really thinks it will work and i think i would have a lot of fun trying to make it work but i have been with my fiancee for four years and there are alot of things that only he has been there for me through and i love his family and friends and dont want to lose that and i know that i will

[April Masini, your AskApril]

There’s a big difference between “not doing everything right” and hurting other people — especially children. You’re making a big mess and you need to stop acting irresponsibly.

First of all, by dating a married father of one while his wife is pregnant, you’re hurting:

1. His daughter.

2. His son who will be born shortly.

3. His pregnant wife.

4. Your fiance.

5. Yourself.

In that order. While this guy may be making out with you and dating you, it’s extremely doubtful he will leave his wife for you. If he really wanted to leave her, he’d be divorced already. More likely, he’s interested in having sex with a 19 year old young woman, while his wife is pregnant, uncomfortable, and busy being a mother, and since you’re ready and willing, you’ve become his Ms. Right Now — on the side. 😳 He’s not a good guy, but what’s of more concern is your choice in this man.

Since you don’t seem that interested in your fiance of one year, who you’ve been dating for four years, the best thing to do is break up with him. You’re already cheating on him, and this is no way to be in an engagement, let alone start a marriage. You owe it to him to move on since you’re looking for freedom.

Once you do move on, date like crazy — but date men who aren’t going to hurt you and who’s families you are not going to hurt. There’s nothing wrong with breaking up with someone, to date around, but just do it in the right order.

[Member]

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