[Superchaos]

I’ve been seeing this girl for about 3 months. I have known her for around 4 years, and have always had a thing for her. I got a tip that her and her long term boyfriend, who she had been living with, were having issues. We hung out a few times, went and got drinks, and on the third hangout, we both had been drinking, and we ended up hooking up.

We would text and chat non stop for about 2 months, all while she was working her way out of her boyfriends house. About a month ago, we went on a solo date, and it was perfect. .

The next week after that starting getting odd.. she began to get short, and distance herself, something I had never seen. After a day or two she apologized and said she was working on officially ending it and it was messing with her.

That was about a month ago. Since then, I have been giving her plenty of space, and letting her talk to me so she has room to figure things out. When she started hanging out with me, I introduced her to all my friends, and she is now very close with them, so I would see her on group outings, as I didn’t want to try to ask for individual dates and overwhelm her. Everything seemed very normal, touchy, flirty, lots of laughs. She would even crash in my bed on most weekends, we would kiss, and cuddle, but she asked that we don’t have sex again until she’s ready, because she was concerned I was just going to become a hook up.

We had once semi serious talk, and I told her I liked her, and didn’t want it to be just a hook up thing, and that I wasn’t interesting in being just friends. She understood and told me it was going to take a while, be painful, and be difficult. I told her I know she would be worth it.

Fast forward to last Friday. I receive a text telling me she is bringing another guy dinner we had planned with friends, and just didn’t want to be a dick so she was giving me a heads up. I felt very hurt. She was bringing another guy… to dinner… with my group of friends who know we are talking? I responded well, I think, remained calm and asked her “Okay… what does this mean?” and she said “That I have a date” and I just said Okay and left it at that. I went out that night with them after considering not to, as seeing her with someone else would be painful. But I went.

She did not at all seem interested in this other guy. She sat a fair distance from him and kept up constant talks with me, and I made her and the table laugh for hours, while the other guy sat awkwardly. I guess I really don’t know what to do anymore. I like this girl, a lot. And when we hangout everything is great… just she’s very cold when not in person. I don’t try to make plans or initiate. I just am trying to give space… But I don’t know if this is worth my time anymore.

She always told me she would tell me if she was wasting my time, as long as I promised to do the same. She has always been super straight up with me, and never lied that I know of.

Something positive is that she always talks about summer, and all the plans she has with me and my friends. But now that I see that means in her head she can bring guys around… I don’t know what to do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

She’s playing the field. If you want to compete and try to win her over, the ball’s in your court. If you don’t, you should move on and find someone who’s more into you. 😉

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[Superchaos]

Thank you! I had hoped that’s all it was. I am struggling with the balance of trying to win her over, and giving her space

[April Masini, your AskApril]

That’s understandable.

You might want to read the book I wrote for men who want to win with women, [b]Date Out of Your League[/b]. You can get it here: [url]https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/date-out-of-your-league-april-masini/1016394885?ean=9780974676302&itm=1&usri=9780974676302[/url].

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

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