[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re not wrong. Your work frenemy has a crush on your boyfriend, and it sounds like you all work together. However…. your approach isn’t working and I suggest you change it. 😉 By picking at a scab, you’re going to create a real wound, so stop nagging your boyfriend to confess or admit a situation that is a losing one for you. If your boyfriend is denying the situation or doesn’t see it — you’re just making a mountain out of a molehill. Instead… accept that you’ve got competition, and decide to win. Bring your A game to the relationship and focus on the relationship you have with your boyfriend. He’s not going to cheat or leave you because she’s amazing — he’s going to cheat or leave you because the relationship the two of you has problems (so don’t make any by complaining about her to him). Be the girlfriend who gets the guy. Have fun, flirt with him, make memories together and become stronger than ever because this other woman has given you that opportunity. In other words, turn it all around and make this about you and the boyfriend — not your boyfriend and her. 🙂

I hope that helps!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think your instincts are correct — she had some interest and she was giving you cues that she wanted you to approach her and talk to her. I like the idea of going to her house and asking to borrow something. So, yes — go for it!! And if the conversation goes well at her house, ask her if she’d like to have coffee with you. And if that goes well, invite her to see a movie and grab dinner. 🙂

The issue you’re facing is confidence, and I think that you’re just about over that hump — you want to connect her with her and you’re getting ready to do so — and for future, seize the day!! Nobody ever died from rejection — especially from just smiling and saying, “Hi!” You can always ask women questions, like, “I love your bike. Where did you get it?” Or, “You seem really fit, do you do belong to a gym?” You can riff on those, or just make up something more appropriate for the situation you’re in. But for now, follow your gut because it’s right. 😀

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old is she? And her fiancé? And you?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You weren’t wrong. But this isn’t about being wrong or being right. It’s about what you expected and wanted being different than what you got. In all relationships this dynamic exists. For you, it was about her taking a trip and not staying in touch the way you had hoped. It could have been a small deal that you smoothed over or, unfortunately, it was the catalyst for a break up. I think that it might have been more prudent to chill and then talk to her when she got home after her 2 night trip. You could have told her that you missed her, and were bummed out you hadn’t heard from her — in other words, putting the emphasis on how much she meant to you and how disappointed you were, but that you were a big boy and two nights away from her was going to hurt, but not kill you. 😉 Instead, you started comparing your behavior with hers — and instead of seeing a difference, you turned it into a right or wrong.

You’d only been dating for four months which is why you’re still getting to know each other, in spite of a lot of relationship landmarks seeming to whizz by so quickly! This could have been an opportunity to learn about her friendships with these other women, and to see where your relationship was when you were each out of town. It didn’t have to be the end of the relationship, and I think the texting war was unfortunately a mistake. Texting is so easy and fast that it can escalate a spark into a forest fire very quickly. What you’ve got now is razed ground. 😥

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m so happy to hear your good news! 🙂 And, of course, I’m glad I could help. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Would you please give me some more details about you situation? How long has this been going on? Did something specific happen? Did intimacy stop suddenly or was has there been a gradual decline?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, if she had her wisdom teeth out a few days ago and you haven’t received a response to your text about how she’s doing — you might want to consider that she’s in pain or recovering. Oral surgery is no joke! 😉 Why not send her some flowers or a card to show you’re thinking about her? 🙂 Second, you’re right — she’s 19, at college and probably preoccupied a lot of the time. She may even be pulling away because she wants something different at 19 than she did at 17 or 18, while the two of you were dating. If you want to try to keep her in the game, then be someone she wants to be with. 😉 In other words, woo her a little more than you have been. Gifts, cards, generous gestures — these are what will remind her that you care about her and you’re really interested in her and her well being when you’re not together. And third, reconsider why you have to keep your relationship secret. I know that sometimes people aren’t accepting of lesbian relationships, but if you don’t give them a chance to try and be understanding and supportive, you lose that opportunity — and so do they. 😉 I hope that helps. Let me know how things go.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Since you’ve already started a string of posts on this website, please re-post this new post as a “reply” to the string you’ve already begun here: . You’ll get much better advice if we can all see your history in one place. I’ll look out for your new post and answer you there. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Since you’ve already started a string of posts on this site, please re-post this as a “reply” on that string so I (and anyone else who wants to weigh in), can see your history in one place. You’ll get better advice this way! 🙂 I’ll look out for your re-post! Here’s your link: .

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Hi there and first of all — please don’t post multiple times in a row without having received a response from me. When you do that, you push your question to the back of the line, which I’m sure you don’t want. 😉 Also, the reason there is a word limit for this free service is to allow for others to get advice from me, as well. But keep your eyes peeled because they’ll be a new paid service coming out soon, where you have the option to expand on this word limit.

[quote]Why would he stay just to leave me ?[/quote]

He stayed because you wanted him to and this time, so did he! 😉 He left the next day because he has his own home. The date ended.

[quote]Is he seeing someone else hence why he changed our date ? [/quote]

He may have another date. Or something else.

[quote]Why would he not contact me ? [/quote]

Because he had Saturday night plans. They may have gone into Sunday.

[quote] I feel like he put me on a high ( by staying over ) and then just slammed me to the ground. What do i do ? [/quote]

You wanted him to stay over and he did. But now, you’ve turned this into drama. 🙄 Relax. The first 3 months of dating are to figure out if you want to continue seeing each other. If you do, then the next 3 months are to decide if you want to be monogamous. You’re still in that first 6 months, and this may or may not work out. Why not play the field to hedge against any disappointment and to take your mind off possible failures? 😉 I think you’ll be happier if you do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think my advice last time was pretty clear, but I’m happy to answer your new questions:

[quote]How do I know she really loves me? How do I read between the lines? [/quote]

She does not act like she loves you, and there are no lines to read between. She’s very clear in the way she is disrespectful to you. Besides, she’s married. Why not find someone in real life to date, who is single, available, kind, respectful and healthy. This woman isn’t any of those. 😳 It’s your life, and you get to choose who you bring into it when it comes to dating. Why not choose someone you can see as a step-mother to your boys? They deserve better than this. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Since you’ve started a string of posts on this forum already, please re-post this as a “reply” to the string you’ve started a few months back. It’s much easier to see your history in one place and you’ll get better advice from anyone who wants to weigh in that way (including me!). Here’s where you should “reply” with your new questions: .

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, this situation is more common than you may realize. Second of all, the bottom line doesn’t change: You have to decide to stay married or leave the marriage. Cheating is cheating whether it’s with a man or a woman, and because you have children, cheating or not cheating and simply divorcing will both (eventually) affect your family, so try to make a decision and follow through to limit the negative impact on your kids. Lastly, understand that feelings don’t have to dictate behavior. Just because you have a crush or sexual urges towards someone doesn’t mean you have to act on them. Everyone crushes during a healthy, long-term marriage. They even lust after others. It doesn’t mean they act on those feelings. So decide what you want to do and follow through.

I hope that helps!

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