[April Masini, your AskApril]

Why not try to seduce her? Woo her on all levels — romantically, emotionally, socially — and don’t pressure her. It’s only been four months of dating, and if you like her enough to get through this transitional period where she’s breaking up with her ex-boyfriend, separating from him physically, and selling the house they shared — which is definitely enough to give anyone the type of stress that would affect their sex drives — then slow down and make the relationship more about romance, for now, and the sex will follow. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This is a great opportunity for you to clarify your own feelings for him, and decide what you want to do.

He definitely likes you, but he’s committed to her. So, knowing that, you have to decide if you want to a) keep hanging around with him as you are, or b) if you want to make a play for him and flirt with him and try to win him over — or c) if you want to move on and understand that his commitment is to her, not you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Fill me in al little more, first.

Timeline: I think you said that this guy is someone you once had a fling with (how long ago?), after you were recovering from a bad breakup from someone else. How long did the fling last? Why did it end?

How old are you both?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you were pretty hot headed when you got mad and broke up with her, and then that she made an equally impulsive mistake by dating this other guy, maybe for revenge. Since you both want to be together, you’ll either try to understand why this happened, what your part in it was, and be able to put it behind you — or it’ll be a deal breaker for you. Take your time deciding. It’s always difficult to find out your ex had sex with someone else during a break, and if you can’t get past that, I understand. You have to decide if you want to be with her more than you’re going to hold onto hurt feelings. Not easy — but that’s what you’ve got to figure out.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’ve written that she broke up with you because there wasn’t enough quality time between the two of you — so make this lunch quality time. Make her want to date you! Bring her flowers. Chose a special restaurant. Compliment her. Flirt with her. If you want to see her more, then make this lunch date one that will leave her wanting more of you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Maybe you can do your assignments in the public library — where there will be new people to meet. Or you can do your work at a coffee shop, or join a new study group. Weekends are yours, as well! Focus on a solution, not on being a victim, and you’ll find your way out of this. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

When you say you want this lunch date to be productive — what, exactly, do you want the date to produce? Not sure I understand your question. However, if you want to get back together with her, then you should focus on flirting and showing her a good time so she wants more. 😎

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

On it’s own, I don’t think she’s saying she wants to break up. It really depends on how she said it, what the context was, and what the rest of the relationship is like. If everything else is going well, I don’t think you should worry about this. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You like him — but he doesn’t really want to see you. 😳 He’s asked for space — but what he really wants is to cut off the relationship altogether. He’s just being polite. My advice is to move on. It’s much easier in life to put your energy towards people who like you and want to date you than it is towards people who aren’t interested. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He’s 34 and lives with his mother. 🙄

That should be the end of the conversation. Re-read your string of posts here.

My advice is that you should not get back together with him. Find a man who has his own home. His own job. And a family who likes you! 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Break up? Are you dating her? Or is this just someone you met online? Or in person? How old are you both?

Fill me in, and I’ll answer your questions!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s really hard to move on from an unrequited crush – especially when you have to see the person every day! This happens to teenagers in classes and adults in work environments. In fact, it’s a universal issue! And there’s no magic solution. The one thing that does work is to get busy and schedule yourself as much as possible, elsewhere. When you have a full calendar — especially one with new events and new people — you’re much more likely to find interest elsewhere, than if you stay in the rut you’re in where you’re seeing the same folks day in and day out, and the same crush eats away at you because nothing else is interesting or new.

You can try a new sport, go to the gym, join a club, volunteer, get politically involved, accept a part time job, run for office, ask your friends to fix you up, make lunch and dinner and weekend dates with family and friends — stay super busy and meet new people. Smile at 20 NEW guys every day!! You just have to shift your focus and help yourself do that by scheduling yourself to give yourself structure to do it.

I hope that helps. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I would love to help you and answer your questions, but first… please re-post this new post as a reply to the string of posts you’ve already started on this site here: . It’s much easier for me (and anyone else who wants to weigh in) to give you better advice when we can see your entire history in one place. I’ll look out for your re-post and I’ll answer you there. 🙂

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