[Sofia]

It would be good if you talk to him and ask him to set boundaries with Tiffany, since you’ve already decided to be official and he has already chosen you.
Tell him that you’re not comfortable and that his continued communication with Tiffany is affecting your peace of mind, especially since they have a past together.

[Sofia]

Since he still has debts to pay, maybe that’s why he can’t fully commit to you yet, but it seems like he’s still a work in progress and you need to support him.
Based on your story, he seems like a decent and responsible person, and it doesn’t look like he’s the type who would cheat or play games.

[Sofia]

That would really hurt a man if your boyfriend found out about that. What you’re doing is clearly cheating. If you’re no longer enjoying things with your boyfriend, it’s better to just break up with him instead of hurting each other more. Cheating won’t lead to anything good.

[Sofia]

You’ve noticed a lot of red flags, and yet you’re still unsure whether you should have sex with him or not. Well, my advice is don’t, because you’ve only just started dating and you’re not even official yet.
I think the reason he’s being so consistent with texting and calling is because he really wants to have sex with you. It’s not fully clear if that’s his only motive, but there’s a possibility.
So if I were you, I wouldn’t give him what he wants yet. That way, you’ll see whether he will still stay and whether he’s willing to wait until you’re truly ready and fully trust him.

[Sofia]

Everyone goes through a first time, so don’t overthink it too much. How are you going to get into a relationship if you’re always afraid to try just because you haven’t experienced it yet?
There are many people in their mid-20s who still don’t have experience in that area—you’re not the only one. It’s normal, so don’t worry too much about it.
My only advice is to try and not think too much about what will happen afterward. If it turns out good, then that’s great. If the result isn’t good, then you just need to learn from it.
Remember, experience is the best teacher.

[Sofia]

You like him, that’s why you did that—not because you wanted him to reject you. That’s the truth. Don’t fool yourself.

For now, don’t overthink it. If you think he’s not the type of person who would play around or hurt a friend, then go ahead and continue the date. Just see how far it goes. Go with the flow. Even if you’re not sure about the outcome, at least you tried, right?

Who knows—if it works out, then it could end up making you happy.

[Sofia]

Even I would get irritated with how persistent you are. If you can’t trust someone, don’t be in a relationship—it’s that simple. Don’t make the other person suffer or become toxic just because of your past. That’s not fair to your partner.
Fix yourself first before entering a relationship. You’re very unhealthy as a partner if you have trust issues like that.

[Sofia]

I know you like him, but think carefully—if he truly loves you, he wouldn’t have left you during the time when you were sick and really needed him.
Base your decision on that. From there, you can decide whether you should still take him back or not.
Because if you ask me, I would say no anymore—and it shouldn’t even need much thinking.

[Sofia]

It would be better if you clarify his true intentions first because you’re confused by his behavior, especially since he’s not being consistent in making an effort to talk to you. That way, your confusion can lessen and you’ll know where you really stand with him.

You can also tell him that you like him and that you still want to get to know him better. As for the ring, maybe it’s better for him to keep it for now until he becomes completely sure about what he really wants.

[Sofia]

Honestly, your situation right now is really difficult because you’re in a long-distance relationship, and I can’t really blame her for saying that she doesn’t think things will work out anymore. Not everyone can handle that kind of relationship for a long time. She may be missing your physical presence and the moments when you were together in person, which now have been replaced by video calls and chats.
On your side, even if there are things you want to do to fix the situation, you’re very limited because of the distance between you. Maybe the best thing right now is to give each other some space first so both of you can really think about whether your relationship can still work or not. A relationship like this won’t survive if only one person is fighting for it. It takes both people making the effort, and if you force it while she’s already pulling away, you’ll only end up getting hurt.

[Member]

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