Girlfriend Problems

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  • #4204
    relationshipa1
    Keymaster

    Okay so I have been having problem’s with my girlfriend for the past two months.

    {April}
    I’ll tell you my problem. So her and I were dating for a year and three months. I thought everything was going fine because she always told me she loved me and she enjoyed spending time with me. But out of no where she started acting different, like she didn’t want to be around me so much. Then one day she just decided that we needed a break. This completely broke my heart because I know that when a girl wants a break she want’s to do more than just have sometime away from you. While we were apart I tried everything to get her to come back to me, she told me that she still loved me and that she promised me she would get back with me. So I just decided okay I’ll just give her some time. Then one day I heard from my friend that she had told some people that she had slept with another guy. After I heard this I was furious and found the guy that she did it with and hurt him, don’t worry I paid the consequences because it was in school. Got suspended for ten days. So this made it real hard for me to have any contact with her at all.

    I tried protecting her, I would text her and tell her to be careful because I didn’t want hurt to get hurt. And even after she slept with the other guy she still said she loved me. At a point, I just didn’t want anything to do with her and left her alone with no contact at all. But then one night it was probably around two weeks since I got in trouble, she called me. She told me that she regrets what she had done and that she loves me and wanted to be with me. Now I still loved her and it killed me to be away from her, so I decided I would forgive her.

    After a few days of hanging out, we started dating again. Now we always spend time with each other and she comes over to my house and stays at night. But sometimes, I just get really confused on why I am with her and feel like she doesn’t love me because of what she had done. She swears to me that she does though and that she wants no one else and that doing what she did was the biggest mistake she has ever made. And when I feel really crappy sometimes I think about just leaving her. But when I tell her she bawls her eyes out. And I just love her so much that when I tell her I’m gonna leave her I can never do it.

    Anyways, she claims that she loves me and doesn’t want to be away from me. She also wants to be around me all the time and she tells me that she wants to get married and start a family. She even said she was going to buy me a ring. I believe her when she tells me this stuff and I love her with all my heart. But there’s just times that I just feel like she doesn’t love me because of what she has done.

    I need advice because all I want to do is be with her and be happy, but I can’t do that when I think about what she has done. Is there anything that can help me? I really love her.

    By the way this is only two months after all this happen.

    #17451
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    I think that your e-mail indicates that she slept with someone else while the two of you were broken up. If that’s true, then she didn’t really cheat on you. However, if you can’t get over the fact that she did sleep with someone else regardless of the fact that it was while the two of you were broken up, then you’ll never be able to trust her. If you can’t trust her, there’s not much place for a relationship since trust is paramount in any relationship.

    Remember that everyone brings baggage to a relationship. Sometimes it’s the number of ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends you may have or a difficult family or illness or job demands. Understanding that baggage is part of everyone and no relationship escapes both parties’ baggage, it may help you let go of the fact that she slept with someone while the two of you were not a couple.

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