I know that this feels like he’s in the wrong, but the reality is you’re making choices that aren’t right for you — and trying to blame him. If your 35 year old fiancee has a history of quitting jobs because he doesn’t like them, then you have to understand that by lending him money, you’re enabling his behavior. You were probably trying to be nice and supportive, but when a grown man quits a series of jobs and borrows from his 25 year old fiancee, he’s not someone who’s interested in being stable or financially supporting a relationship or a marriage. The bigger problem is that you’re trying to believe he’s someone he’s not. 😳
I can hear your frustration and your fear of asking him about this issue directly — because you’re going to hear answers you don’t like. At a certain point you’ll decide that knowledge is more important than preserving the fantasy you’re desperately holding onto. I hope it’s soon, for your sake. The reality is that you’re engaged to marry a man who isn’t stable and isn’t interested in being stable. It doesn’t sound like this is who you want to marry, but you are upset about the idea of leaving because you’re not compatible. I think the writing is on the wall — this problem isn’t going to get better. This is who he is. Ball is in your court. Stay and face reality, or go and find a man who is more compatible with your values.
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