Relationship Advice Forum Ask April , April Masini

I Bee-Lieve

[tmnf_header_sidebar]

The Boyfriend, forgetting and online….

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • February 7, 2009 at 9:55 am #876
    ChristineK
    Participant

    I’ve been living with someone for 8 years. We discussed marriage a few weeks ago, but he is not ready. Our relationship has a lot of little problems that we tend to argue about quite often. Just recently, my boyfriend forgot my birthday. This is the 2nd time in 8 yrs that he has done this. It was easy to forgive the first time, but somehow I just can’t get over it this time. The other thing is that I found a book in his bookshelf in our bedroom. It was kinda tucked away, but not well. As I was walking past the shelf, I noticed it. Its called Thailand Fever and its a book for Western men that want to learn how to have a romantic relationship with Thai women. My boyfriend has always had a fondness for Asian woman, which is one of the things we have argued about. He lied and said he has had it for a very long time. I know he hasn’t and even if that’s true, the book was only published in 2004 (while we were living together). My boyfriend feels the need to communicate with women online and post himself as single on the internet. He is 42 and I am 44….please tell me…am I sincerely just wasting my time here? Sometimes you know, love is blind and I really don’t know if I should just end it or not. It does seem that he is sending a clear message though. But when I talk about leaving, he gets angry and blames me for just being childish and calls my jealousy petty. HELP

    February 8, 2009 at 1:15 pm #9003
    heavens_heart
    Participant

    I can kinda relate to what you are experiencing. I’ve only been with my boyfriend for four months and he sometimes makes comments about getting himself a red head, with freckles and green eyes. His ex was white and I am far from his discription I am Hispanic, with brown hair and brown eyes. So when he makes that comment it hurts my feelings and makes me question if he is serious about me. I feel that if he is more attracted to that description then why is he with me and what made him become attracted to me? It is never right for anyone to make their partner question or doubt their relationship. Now, after hearing him make that comment more than once I am worried that if he does find that girl with that description he is going to leave me. Which if that is what he wanted to begin with he should have never got involved with me. As for your boyfriend forgetting your birthday more than once is another issue. I know that there is no excuses for that. If it was turned around on him and you forgot his birthday im pretty sure he wouldnt appreciate it . The best advice I can give to you is to talk to him about how it makes you feel that he forgot your birthday and how you feel about him likeing asian women. If he doesnt understand your feelings about the subjects and apologize for disregarding your feelings by acting that way you are better off without him. Also, I believe that you shouldnt stand by and let him talk to other women online it is not healthy for any relationship and it is not being respectful to you and your feelings. You have a right to protect your feelings and say something to him when you feel his behavior is inappropriate. I hope my advice helps you a little and good luck with everything.

    February 8, 2009 at 4:58 pm #9005
    glam0927
    Participant

    Christine.. 8 years is a VERY long time to be with someone and not be married! Unless marriage is something two people in a relationship BOTH agree is not in the cards for them and are both happy with that decision.

    However you mention marriage to be something you do want. So what exactly are you waiting for? The man can treat you like gold but if he is not ready to make a commitment after 8 years he will never make it. On the upside of things this man does not seem to treat you like gold..from the little you have told us about him. So this decision shouldnt be all that difficult for you.

    Love is blind like you said but it sounds like to me you (more than likely both of you ) have gotten way too comfortable in a relationship neither of you are truly happy in.

    Now it’s time to make a clean break, be honest with him.. If he really loves you maybe this is the wake up call he’s been needing. Next be honest with Christine and make a promise with yourself to never comprimise your needs for anyone again.

    I hope it works out for you..sincerely.

    January 13, 2016 at 12:06 am #27226
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Comments are closed.