[ClassyItalianFella82]

I met this female bartender at my friends bar who owns it we slept together a few weeks ago after talking for a few weeks and recently a situation happened this girl has a co worker whom she doesn’t get along with, and every time I was at the bar her co worker would constantly cone up to me and warn me about her and bad mouth her to me. So because like anyone would be I was curious to know what her co worker’s problem was with this girl so I hit her up once on a Monday on Facebook to ask her. She proceeded to tell me these crazy stories about her which I’m not sure is true or not, the next Tuesday the girl I’m talking too found out I hit up her co worker she was very angry and called me to scream and yell at me about what I did. The following day Wednesday she texted me because she was still angry at me and she called me again that day but I confessed to hitting up her co worker to only ask what the problem was so I ended up putting the issue to rest between me and the girl I’m talking too because I told her I had trust issues with women. I pretty much calmed her down and everything was good between us over the phone Wednesday until the very next day she texted me and wrongfully accused me of writing her co worker again on Facebook which I did not. I tried telling her I did not do such a thing and I’m not a liar she refused to hear me out she calls me later and tells me to leave her alone never call her again and she wants nothing to do with me. She hasn’t called me back since and it’s been two weeks now but I want her to know I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m a very nice guy I come from a good family and morals and she knows that but she’s been ignoring me since, except last Friday she was working and asked her boss who is my friend if I was coming that night and tried staying later to bump into me. Still no word from her but she asked about me last week and I don’t know what to do, everyone is telling me to leave her alone and never call or text her. But I think about her because we fooled around with each other but I don’t sleep around I take sex very serious unlike most men. What do I do now cause I want to talk to her like adults do?

[AskApril Masini]

It was wrong of you to sleep with a woman, and then follow a gossip trail instigated by her co-worker who doesn’t like her. 😮 Gossip is a bad way to live, and it would have been better if you’d gotten to know the woman you slept with, directly, rather than by engaging with a co-worker who’s out to get her. If you put yourself in her shoes, you might be able to empathize with this woman who liked you, slept with you, and then found out that after you slept with her, you started talking to a co-worker on Facebook, to find out about bad things that were being said about her.

Your trust issues got the better of you and you sabotaged this relationship. If you don’t trust someone, then you should get to know them directly and figure out what it is you don’t trust, why and if, after learning about them, you trust them enough to have a healthy relationship with them, or not. But if you just go looking for reasons to sabotage relationships, you’ll find them. 😳 And you’ll perpetuate your fear of trust, instead of curing it. 😉

My advice is to learn your lesson from this experience, and try apologizing and wooing this woman if you still want to date her — but I think she’s moved on, and you’d do better to find someone else to date — with this new skill you’re being given the chance to acquire, of not gossiping or trying to find out bad things about someone you’re sleeping with or dating or both — from their co-workers or other third parties you’re not previously associated with. Gossip is a bad way to live. 😉

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[ClassyItalianFella82]

You are absolutely 100% correct she actually approached me about wanting to sleep with me she suggested it after talking to me for just a few weeks and on Wednesday when we spoke on the phone I confessed and apologized for writing her co worker one time days before. She listened to me than and everything was fine between us but the following day Thursday she accused me of writing her co worker again but I honestly did not do that I tried telling her but she wouldn’t listen to me and I don’t lie. Why would she ask my friend who’s her boss if I was coming by the bar last Friday night and she tried staying late as possible to bump into me but I showed up later but she was already gone? That I don’t understand

[AskApril Masini]

[quote]Why would she ask my friend who’s her boss if I was coming by the bar last Friday night and she tried staying late as possible to bump into me but I showed up later but she was already gone? That I don’t understand[/quote]

The answer is because she probably had something else to do, or got tired of waiting or changed her mind.

[ClassyItalianFella82]

I forget to mention when she asked my friend who’s her boss if I was coming by that night she tried staying late but my friend told her to leave earlier before I got there because he had enough help in the bar. If she is so mad at me or wants nothing to do with me why would she ask her boss who is my friend if I was coming by that night and why would she try staying late to bump into me if you told me to leave her alone? That’s the point which is confusing but she still hasn’t called me yet

[AskApril Masini]

[quote]If she is so mad at me or wants nothing to do with me why would she ask her boss who is my friend if I was coming by that night and why would she try staying late to bump into me if you told me to leave her alone? That’s the point which is confusing but she still hasn’t called me yet[/quote]

Oopsy!! I didn’t tell you to leave her alone. 😕

I think what’s going on is that you’re getting yourself confused here because you’re upset about how things have transpired with her. 😳 Now you’re focusing on details trying to control the answers to distract yourself from the fact that she’s not talking to you and because you feel badly about what happened. 😕

Right now, you’re expending a lot of energy on someone who isn’t that interested. My advice is to let go, and move on instead of getting confused and upset.

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