[jenny2017]

Hello, I have a general question about how men’s minds think. I play an online game in which there is a chat feature. Several conversations have evolved with different men that have lasted for several games over a period of days or even weeks. It’s just general, getting to know you type conversations, though sometimes they do go deeper with sexual innuendo, etc. Obviously I have never met any of these men before in person. They seem interested in me, as I am interested in them. When one game is done, they request another game with me and we continue chatting.

This lasts for a while, but then nothing. The game ends, mid conversation, and they don’t request another game. Nothing happened in the conversation, and I know they are still online playing because they play with my friend. So is that just their way of saying they are bored with me? It just seems strange because it’s literally mid conversation and they were great talks!

I don’t want to be pushy if they aren’t interested and request them the play, but I’m a little lost here. Any insight into a man’s thought process would be helpful. I just don’t understand why they would so abruptly stop.

Thank you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

So, you’re 52 and playing online games with guys who are middle-aged and you’re curious about why they don’t ask you out, when they appear to be interested, or worse, just cut off the online conversation while playing these games, and move on. Got it. 😉

First of all, if you are looking for guys to date, online games are not a good milieu. The reason is that these guys are pretty much really here to play games. If they were looking to date, they’d go to an online dating site. Second, when a guy wants to date you he will. These guys aren’t asking you out. And third, flirting doesn’t always lead to anything beyond flirting. It’s a relatively innocent way of enjoying an exchange or just feeling sexual without any risk of rejection. I think you’re hoping it will lead to a date, and it doesn’t. These guys you’re flirting with online are probably multi-tasking. They’re probably playing multiple games at once, or working at some job and playing games, or doing other things and playing games. This means they’re flirting with lots of other game players, too. They may be married. They may have serious girlfriends. They’re just flirting — with no intention of it going beyond flirting. The flirting is fun and it feels good for them, but that’s all they’re interested in.

I hope that explains their behavior. As for you, it sounds like you want to date, which is great — but my advice is to focus on finding guys who want the same thing. Look for guys to date in real life, where you can read their cues verbally and non-verbally at the same time, or on dating sites where they’re clear about what they want, as are you. 🙂 I hope that helps.

[Sundus]

They are playing games there, not building a home with you! You’re out here hunting for a soulmate, while they’re just trying to level up.
The only reason they’re flirting is to keep themselves from falling asleep mid-game. To them, you’re just an energy drink, not a life partner.
Gemini said
AskApril was right: if you’re looking for a partner, go to dating apps and stop wasting your time on gaming platforms. In these game apps, men are only there to flirt or to pass the time

[Member]

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