[barryb]

I have been dating this girl for about 5 months. The relationship seems to be going well in a lot of ways. We have fun together and have good compatibility. We have a pretty good sex life. The problem is that I have issues from the past that keep getting in the way. A few years ago, I explored that bi scene and discovered that I very much enjoy performing blowjobs. I don’t really like to recieve them but I totally love giving blowjobs. I don’t feel that I am gay because I don’t want a relationship with a guy and I am attracted physically to women. I am very attracted to my girlfriend. She does not know about my past, which is good. I have given over one hundred blowjobs in the past and I tried to put it behind me when I started dating my current girlfriend. But, I have cheated on her by giving other guys blowjobs on about 15 occasions. It seems like I just can’t resist it, I sometimes have such an intense craving for giving a blowjob. What should I do?

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

You’re never going to have real intimacy if you can’t be honest. So the big problem you have to face is dishonesty. This has nothing to do with sexuality. It’s a moral issue. My advice is that you understand that if you want a meaningful and intimate relationship then you can’t lie. If she finds out you cheated on her, she’ll probably break up with you. But you already know that — which is why you’re not telling her.

It sounds like you’re pretty sexually active outside of the relationship with your girlfriend, and she will find out. The break up is just a matter of time. You can be honest with her and face the music, which is the best thing you can do, or you can wait until she finds out, at which point she’s going to be very hurt.

Hope that helps. Let me know how things go.

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