[April Masini, your AskApril]

Once you make a decision to move on, then…. you have to work on healing from the break up. Start by smiling at 20 new guys every day. That should keep you busy — and you’ll be surprised at the nice responses you get. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

That’s pretty funny. 😆

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you have a question about a relationship issue, I’m happy to answer that. This seems more like an academic exercise. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like things are going really well, except that the texting when you’re not together, has waned. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill! If all else is going well, focus on what’s good, and don’t complain what’s not a big deal. Second, change the way you communicate with him by text. If you used to text to just report in during the day, or connect by sharing what was going on when you were apart, use texting differently. Ask him pertinent questions, send images, flirt with him — change it up so it’s more interesting. He may simply have gotten bored with the way you were doing things and by switching them up, you may regain his interest over text. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]my question is what do I do ?[/quote]

I answered this question for you in March…. [i]It’s not a surprise that he’s come back to you and is co-parenting and enjoying your company, while the two of you are living separately. Don’t jump the gun like you have in the past. Let this period of getting to know each other and co-parenting that you’re both doing so well, play out. Give it a year like this. If you’re still in these good places in a year from now, then consider moving forward. The thing you have to work against is impulsive moves. You have the tools to have a productive and happy life, but an old inclination to jump the gun. Overcome that! 😉 You’re doing great. 🙂[/i]

[quote]he is mad I left but he cheated , how does he get over that anger an how do I treat this situation ?[/quote]

He has to process his own feelings and decide whether or not he really wants to move forward with you. You should give him space to do so. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you want to see him at the end of the year, that’s fine. But it doesn’t really change things.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He doesn’t sound like he really cares about you. Your’e holding onto the good things in the relationship, but underestimating your own needs and how they’re not being met. It sounds like you want someone who is emotionally attentive and caring. He’s not that person. I think you’ll feel a lot better about yourself, and life, if you move on and try to find someone who cares more about you and the relationship he has with you.

I hope that helps.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You should move on. He cheated for eight months, and you found out and confronted him. He said he’d stop seeing her and then you found out he lied and continued seeing her. That should all be reason enough for you to realize he’s not that into you. If you want monogamy, he’s not your guy. You should move on and find someone who has similar values and is really into you and just you. 😉 I hope that helps.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Definitely contact her, but adjust your standards. She probably lied to you because either she was waiting for someone else to ask her or she didn’t want to go with you. Rather than tell you either of those reasons, she lied to not hurt your feelings. I’m guessing that you’re more angry she said no — not that she lied. So if you do contact her, which I think you should, be sunny and happy to talk to her — not angry about the distant past. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You don’t need a counselor. You just need to be willing to change your own behavior. If chronic fighting over little things has become the reason you’re close to losing him, stop fighting. Decide not to be right, but to be happy instead. If you know he’s not great at the dishes, you do them. Or don’t ask him to do something and then complain about the way he does them. The solution is very simple — but probably difficult for you to apply because it requires you to change. Try not engaging in anything negative. Stop yourself before responding and count to ten and then tell him you love him. Let the chore go. In the scheme of things what you’re fighting about is not worth breaking over.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This is not the moment to let them know you’re disappointed. If they do show up, then you should enjoy the celebration with them. Cut your cake and have a good time. However, you’ve been given a great opportunity to learn more about these friends. They’re not people who show up all the time, and without punishing them, just know this and act accordingly. For your next birthday, don’t include them in plans that are important to you. Sometimes friends are good at one thing and not another — they may be great if things are bad and you need support, but not so good at showing up for birthdays. Learning about each other and adjusting the relationship to this knowledge is how you can have successful relationships with imperfect people! 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

What nice advice from ConfusedCyndi. 🙂 Life can be rough sometimes, and there are no guarantees. Sometimes people like you and sometimes they decide they like someone else better. It sounds like he chose this other young woman, and you’re disappointed. The best way to move forward is to flirt with him and try to win him over that way — but at the same time, play the field. Lots of times people tend to like you more when they see you’re desirable to other people. If he sees other guys liking you he may see you differently — and don’t forget, you may even attract a new guy by simply being open to someone new. 😉 I hope that helps.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like he’s interested in hooking up, but not necessarily a committed relationship. The big clue is that he told you that he’s not interested in relationships. And his asking about your virginity and sexual experience means he’s trying to gauge your attitude and experience towards sex. If you want to hook up and have that kind of relationship, keep flirting and the invitation will come. If you want a commitment, he’s not your guy. I hope that helps! 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

No. Many guys have grueling jobs that take up a lot of their time — but if they’re really interested, they’ll make time for you. If he hasn’t asked you for a date in five months, I think you should move on. I would hate to see you waiting for someone who isn’t all that excited about you after all this time. 😉

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