[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re getting some great advice here! 🙂 I think that what’s missing is good communication between the two of you. If you’ve been together for 9 years, you’ve got a big investment in your relationship. It seems a little odd that it’s friends who are driving you apart. I think it’s more likely that the communication between the two of you has broken down and that’s what you should focus on. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I understand you fear rejection, and you’re not alone. Nobody likes to be rejected, and yet, at some point, we all are. It’s a fact of life. So if you can get over the fact that nobody ever died from rejection, and that’s the worst that can happen, maybe you won’t fear it so much! 🙂 And when you’re feeling like there’s really not all that much to lose and a lot to gain, start flirting with him. Flirting is what dials up the heat in a relationship and it gives him a clue that you’re interested. If he’s shy and also fearful of rejection (and most guys are to some extent), your flirting with him will give him confidence to make a move. He’ll know by your flirting with him, that you like him — and he’s probably waiting for that. So flirt with him, and see what happens. 😎

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I have to agree with epea98…. since you’ve broken up with your boyfriend, and he’s now your ex, who he dates is really his business. We all make mistakes — but they’re ours to make, and there is something about her that he likes, so why not give him the opportunity to figure out his own life? I think you have good intentions, but your energy will be better spent focusing on your own life. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, I know this is going to sound wrong, but you’re not friends. This is not a friendship. It’s a romance. That’s why you’re having trouble letting go. If you can recognize that this is a romance, you’ll be better able to deal with it. Friendship and romance are two different things. Second, although the two of you have strong feelings for each other, he’s made it very clear that because he doesn’t have the resources to date you across country, he doesn’t want to pursue this. He’s being very mature in this decision. I think you should really honor it. And since you’re both in college, you should focus your energy on people who are at your campus, available to date. It’s too easy to avoid what is an important time your life to date, by holding onto someone who’s unavailable. 😳 I know you really like this crush, but I think you should move on.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This isn’t closure — but it isn’t interest. If a guy really likes you, he’ll date you more than once in five months. 😕

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re talking about controlling the perceptions of others. It’s much easier to be truthful to yourself. However, if you’re concerned about how men think of you, you should know that most men don’t want to be in a long-term relationship with a woman who sleeps around — that’s not everyone, but it is most men. I’m not here to judge or tell you that they’re right or wrong, but this is what men look for. So…. if you don’t want to be perceived in a particular way, you have to control your behavior or the profile your behavior creates for you. Al stopped talking to you because he feels hurt that you chose these other men over him. He felt that by your sleeping with them, you gave a part of yourself away, and he wanted it all to himself. Whether he’s right or wrong is less important than learning what motivates him, and why. 😉 I hope this helps.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I can’t make this decision for you, nor should I. This is a big deal, and you shouldn’t rush. And if you do have sex, use protection. And if you’re not sure…. wait. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He likes you — but you’re both in the friend zone. To get out of it, you have to risk losing the friendship and decide not to be his friend. Flirt with him, and don’t be so available. Make it impossible for him to see you unless he asks you out on a date, and if he does ask you to get together, ask him if it’s a date. By simply saying the words and asking the question, you’ll put it out there, and give him an opportunity to say yes, or at least to see you differently (if he doesn’t already!). 😎

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t know. Why don’t you fill me in with some details so I can help you? 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This isn’t a break. It’s a break up. You’re dating an investment banker with long hours, and you’re someone who needs more attention from a partner. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but nobody is doing anything wrong here — except to expect an apple to turn into an orange. You both are who you are and there’s a major incompatibility here. I think you should start dating other people.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think tickets to Cirque du Soleil is a wonderful birthday gift. There are going to be plenty of opportunities to buy her jewelry, but since you’re in Las Vegas where this show is a big deal, it’s a great idea for her birthday. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re in a tough situation and pretty much anyone would feel the same way you do. If you want to make plans beyond the move — whether it’s a reunion, or a way to keep in touch, that’s one way to offset the relationship ending. The other way is to spend less time together so the ending doesn’t have the same impact that it will if you spend a lot of time together and then have to part.

There’s not a magic solution to this problem, and your feelings are justified.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The one thing I would have suggested, had you asked me earlier, was to not accept a date that required you to a) travel to meet him, b) pay for your own travel and c) involve a first meeting with his child so soon after you just broke up with him. You can tell how much a guy is into you by the action and energy he puts into seeing you. If he had paid for your trip, or offered to come to you and take you out — that would be a different type of get together than this one was. You put a lot of energy and effort into your side of this get together, and when he cancelled it was not just rude, but inconsiderate — and I think you’re actually mad at yourself for getting involved this way. 😉

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