[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re taking a little bit of a risk by spending more time with him, without a commitment. My advice is to keep the love alive, but spend less time there because it’s so difficult. 😉 If he wants to marry you, I doubt it will be because you spent 5 days a week there or one. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I know you want him to ask you out — so wait for it! 😉 He may be shy, but he’s not without the ability to ask for a date. If you do ask him out and have a good time, then you’re going to be right back in this same situation, waiting for him to ask. While it’s difficult to wait for what you want, there’s no substitute. Distract yourself and get busy elsewhere. 😉 If he wants to date you, he will. Let him chase you — and give him something to chase. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like this is a guy you met online two months ago, with whom you started talking to about sex and hooking up. He never met with you, and now he’s moved on. I think you should, too. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It really depends on specifics in the actual relationship, but I can tell you that attraction, on it’s own, is not enough to make a relationship go the distance. There are more important facets of relationships like mutual goals, respect and shared values that trump attraction for a long-term relationship. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’ve been dating this guy for two months and at the six week mark he started losing interest. He probably met someone else he prefers or else he just lost interest. Since you’ve only been dating for a couple of months at most, there’s not really a need to “break up” since you’re just dating. I think that you should hang back and see if he shows interest. If he does, then you can see what’s there. If he doesn’t, then you’ve just realized this isn’t going to work, and you can move on. Save the break up for when there’s more of a relationship to actually break up from. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Sounds like you didn’t ask her out. The ball’s in your court. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

These are great questions. It really sounds like the two of you are on the same track — but your “train” is moving a lot faster than his. You want him to want a bigger commitment before he’s ready to make one. And he’s not saying he doesn’t want that commitment, but he is saying he’s not ready now. In other words, you’re pushing. 😕 Ten months of dating isn’t too short a time for him to still not be ready. If it comes up on a year then you get to decide whether you want to continue seeing him or not. But for now, limit your sleepovers there to once a week, explaining that you want more, but it’s just exhausting and you hope he understands.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The problem isn’t this guy. The problem is that you’re trying to create a commitment that she might not be ready for, or that she just might not want. You have competition and the reality is that commitments don’t erase competition. It’s out there. The best way to hedge against it is to win her over and make sure the person you’re winning over wants what you want.

You have her for now, but relationships can be tough because there are two people involved! Sometimes one person wants one thing, but it conflicts with what the other person wants. You’re both young, and you have options, so don’t forget that. 😉 But also, don’t forget that she’s got the same choices you do. People stay together because they both want to, but if she’s looking outside the relationship for someone else, you can either compete or move on — you’re not married and you’re both free to play the field if you think you should.

I hope that helps. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Sure! Call her and invite her on a second date if you want to see her again. 🙂 You don’t have to wait a month. If you like her, call her a few days or a week later.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like he’s been married 3 times (twice to this one woman you’re writing about) and has 3 children — if I understand you correctly he married this woman you’re concerned about twice and has two children with her, and he was married to another woman and he has a child with her, as well. How long was he married to the first woman, 20 years ago? And how old are his kids — and in how many different states do they live?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You can’t always have what you want. 😳 I understand why you want to continue the relationship over the course of distance created by your choice to take an out of town internship. And I understand why he doesn’t want to have the long distance, so he feels a break up is in order. You can try and convince him and try and make it work, but you can only try. If this is something he doesn’t want, and he knows his mind, it’s his decision to continue or not continue. The shortened texting is a sign that in spite of your best efforts, he’s moving towards a break up. 😥

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Don’t try to discuss the status of the relationship — guys hate any version of “the talk” where you try to define things. If he’s asking you out, picking the time and place, paying for the dates, and asking you for second, third and fourth dates, he’s using the term “hangout” but what he’s really doing is dating you. Whenever a man’s behavior and language conflict, trust the behavior! 😉 And same goes for you — he’ll know if you like him by the way you treat him. Flirting, and bringing him a little gift like a book you discussed, or homemade fudge or cookies –are nice ways to let him know you’re into him — without coming out and making an announcement that might cause awkward feelings. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This is a tough time of life for both of you because you’re both shuttling between different states to attend college, coming home for vacation, going back again, etc. It sounds like she’s trying to hedge against getting hurt by this long-distance situation, by deciding that the two of you are pals — but having trouble going through with this relationship status. That’s why it’s confusing. She says she wants to be friends — for good reasons that involve her going to college in another state in the fall, you going back to college in another state, and your not being in communication with her while you’re out of state — but she likes you. This isn’t anyone’s fault, but you are in a long distance relationship scenario, and these are tough. I hope that this explanation of what’s going on helps you decide what to do next. Let me know if you have any other questions.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[Member]

Posts