[April Masini, your AskApril]

Three weeks isn’t really all that long in the scheme of things! I know you want things to move faster, but you’re both on different clocks. And he’s moving in the same direction you are by finally meeting up and hugging you at the end of the time together. 🙂 I think you have to work a little more on his time frame and expect him to take longer to get where you are. I’m sure there will be times down the road where those clocks reverse but for now, Stay busy, don’t focus too much on the relationship and enjoy what you have together rather than rush towards some artificial finish line. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you meet a guy online, and won’t meet him in person, he will think that you’re not ready for a relationship. He was, so he found one. I’m sorry you’re hurt. I guess you thought he was going to wait for you beyond seven years. I’m sure you know that that’s asking a lot of someone. More than what’s normal.

If you do want to date and you do want a boyfriend, make sure that you’re really ready. If you can’t meet in person, reconsider. This just might not be a great time for you be with someone. 😳 When you’re ready, you’ll get out there and meet a guy. But for now, it sounds like you have some personal problems that need to be dealt with first.

I hope that helps.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both? How old are your twins? When did you get engaged and when is the wedding?

Also, is this behavior on his part new? Or has he always been like this — and if he has , what’s changed for you that it’s suddenly a problem?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Invite her to have coffee or a drink with you after work. Get to know her more and you’ll find out about her boyfriend, as well as her feelings for you. It’s much easier to get that information one on one than it is by stalking her social media. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

That’s GREAT that you lost 30 pounds. Stay the course. 🙂

Stop focusing on your ex-boyfriend’s relationships and keep the focus on you. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I get that you’re hurt. Truly, I do. But you’re talking about a relationship with two people. [b]It’s not all about you.[/b] [i]She’s [/i]decided not to stay in contact with you. I know you want me to fix this for you, but I can’t because [i]she[/i] isn’t willing to meet you halfway. This is between the two of you, and she’s opted out. 😥

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I just noticed that you’ve already started a string of posts on this site here: . Please re-post your question there. It’s much easier for me and anyone else who wants to weigh in, to see your history in one place. 😉 I’ll look out for your new post there.

Also, please limit your posting to one post at a time. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure what your question is.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you want to focus on her, and you’re not ready to move on, then you have to be practical. 😉 Relationships aren’t just about feelings. They’re about problem solving. And since nobody is arguing with your emotions, let’s leave them out for a minute. Your real problem is that the 14 year old girl you met online and love, who lives far away, won’t talk to you anymore because her father has made it crystal clear he doesn’t want her to. She’s chosen to align with her family over you. You don’t like her decision. 😳

Your choices are to try and convince her to risk the consequences her father has spelled out if she disobeys him, or to talk to her father and convince him to allow her to talk to you. That’s it. You can work on one at a time or both together, but this is actually simple problem if you want to approach it.

I hope that helps. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s very difficult to read a relationship question that is written in the third person. It comes across as academic, and it’s distancing and hard to understand how it relates to the writer. Can you please repost your question as it relates to you? 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m so sorry you’re hurt.

When you’re only 18 without a job or money to fly around the world, it’s very hard to imagine you can sustain a relationship with someone in another country. So from the start, this relationship was probably not going to work out. You can love her as much as it’s humanly possible, but if you don’t have a job and money to fly and see her, the relationship is really not going to be a real life possibility.

The other problem is that she’s 14. She’s too young to be involved like this, and her father is right. Sorry. 😕 From his point of view, which you should try and consider, you’re some guy she met on the internet. He doesn’t know you and he’s protective of the child he loves. He’s just doing his job. 😉

I think you should focus your time and energy away from the internet. Get out and do things. Meet new people. And look for someone who lives in your zip code to date. You’ll be a lot happier if you find someone who’s closer to your age and with whom you can get together weekly or more. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Please post this new question as a “reply” to the string of posts you started on this site here: . It’s much easier for me, and anyone else here who wants to chime in, to answer your questions seeing your history in one place. I’ll answer your new questions when they’re reposted. 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Try to look at this incident as an opportunity instead of a problem. He lied to you because he didn’t want to disappoint you — and possibly tell you that he’d done something that would be a relationship deal breaker to you. Of course now, you’re probably wondering if there are other things he lied about, as well, and that’s fair. Now that the truth is out you have to decide if this is a deal breaker for you. This is an important opportunity for you. There are many people from many countries who don’t want to date someone who’s not a virgin. Are you one of them? If so, your choice is clear. However, if you’re willing to be “okay enough” with his past, then you should continue with the relationship, but talk about how hard it must have been for him to keep this secret from you and how much you don’t want secrets to come between the two of you. This is all much easier said than done, but I think you’re up to the task. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You have more than one problem going on here. 😕 Snooping in your boyfriend’s phone is probably just the tip of the iceberg. I’m guessing you’ve already snooped in other of his private things — or you will! The reason you’re snooping is because you’re insecure in the relationship and that’s the second problem. If this is founded in reality and he’s really given you reason to be insecure, that’s one issue, but if you’re insecure because of something in your past, and this mistrust is chronic, that’s another issue.

Since you have a committed relationship and a child together, I think you should let this go for now, and focus on figuring out why you’re having these feelings that lead to this behavior, and work on the catalyst — not the symptoms. 😉

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Nope. 😉

[Member]

Posts