[Miguel]

That’s how it is when relationships get longer, they can start to feel colder. You just need to keep choosing each other even in the hardest situations. That’s how it should be, especially since you are married and already promised to stay together through good times and bad.
Take care of yourselves. Exercise, groom yourselves, even go to the gym. That’s just an example, but what I mean is you both need to keep making yourselves attractive to each other.

[Miguel]

It could be that way based on her behavior. As much as possible, don’t enable or tolerate that kind of behavior.
Give her an ultimatum that if she doesn’t change, it may be better for you to separate. You also need reassurance in your relationship, especially since you have children together.

[Miguel]

Just ask her out right away, don’t overthink it or delay things. You’ll get your answer by inviting her on a date.
You need to put in more effort through actions, not just words. If she is seeing other people, at least you’ll be competitive and have a better chance. Be direct with your intentions so you don’t end up stuck in the friend zone.
Also, don’t forget to keep your personal life separate from your work so you don’t run into problems at your job. Always stay professional at work.

[Miguel]

Just go through the process, change isn’t really that easy. Keep supporting him.
From the beginning, even before you got married, you already knew he was like that, but you still decided to marry him. There’s really no perfect relationship; it’s up to both of you how you handle each situation.

[Miguel]

Just talk to her again and tell her that what you really want is just a friends-with-benefits setup, and that you just misspoke earlier.

[Miguel]

This is the difficulty with online relationships, especially long-distance ones. Honestly, your situation is really hard because it feels like you’re the only one actively putting effort into the relationship.
And since you’re far apart, it’s not impossible that he could develop feelings for someone else. That’s a common weakness in long-distance relationships, people can become vulnerable to temptation. Sometimes they start looking for what they feel is missing in the relationship, emotionally or physically, from someone else. It can really make you feel paranoid.
Right now, the only thing you can do is trust him if you still want to try to save the relationship. But if he continues being cold and distant, it might be better to break up for now and give yourself time to think and reflect.

[Miguel]

Get a lawyer so you’ll know what steps you should take. Also, find out what kind of support he is required to give you and what you are entitled to receive. Look into all possible reasons why his behavior has become like that. You have a child together, and your child also needs his support.

[Miguel]

You don’t want to choose her, but you still want her back in your life? Because to have her back, you would need to choose her. You really have to sacrifice something.
It’s clear that she loves you too. The question is, how far are you willing to fight for her? It seems like she’s hesitant about you because she’s unsure of your decision, which is why she can’t fully move forward with you.

[Miguel]

What you should do is stop for now and focus on fixing yourself before entering a relationship again. It’s not good to continue your relationship at this point because it has already become physically harmful. Right now it’s just slapping, but next time it could be worse. That’s why I advise that both of you take a break for now.

[Miguel]

They say actions speak louder than words. For me, he doesn’t really like you and it’s possible that he only wants sex. Based on your story, your relationship seems to revolve only around having sex. There’s no real romance, just intimacy. There’s no effort from him, and you’re not even officially dating. I think he’s really just using you, especially since you don’t say no no matter what he says. He clearly knows how to manipulate and sweet-talk you. You’re still young, so take things slowly when it comes to exploring.

[Member]

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