Dating The Socially Challenged

This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 16 years, 1 month ago by kai.

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June 1, 2009 at 3:14 pm #1002

iamevie
Participant

I recently went on a date with a “friend” from a Social Networking site. We had chatted and flirted back and forth for a couple of months, when he called an asked me out. Before the date we talked on the phone and it seemed we hit it off pretty well. We went on the date and everything pretty much went south.

I got all dressed up, and he looked like he was going to mow the lawn. He never even complimented me on how I looked. We went to eat at a sports bar and he jerked the remote to the booth TV right out of my hand. He told me we were not going to a movie, because there was nothing HE wanted to see. I suggested we go bowling, and he said he wasn’t very good at bowling and it he couldn’t win- he didn’t play. We then went to his friend

June 2, 2009 at 11:29 pm #9297

GPM
Participant

There’s always two sides to a story. But it seems pretty obvious that this guy is not for you. You’re not overreacting. I wouldn’t give him a second chance. That’s what dating is all about: you meet people and if you’re not happy with the outcome of the meeting, you MOVE ON… until you find someone that really makes your days brighter.

June 3, 2009 at 11:18 am #9307

tricia
Participant

I somehow agree with GPM that there’s always a two sides on the story, you who didn’t enjoy his company and him who really enjoy the date. He really enjoyed it because your the one who almost handled the date. Your the one who talks a lot and seems to entertain him and this is the exact reason on why he enjoyed and why you didn’t appreciate the date.

June 3, 2009 at 11:39 am #9309

kai
Participant

I’m a guy and I say give him another chance. Maybe he was just very nervous? That’s happened to me before.

Also, it’s possible that he didn’t ask you questions because he was trying to impress you by telling you stories about his life. That’s the reason he liked you so much, your questions made him open up and you acted interested in him.

I think you should give him another chance and if the 2nd date is as one-sided as the 1st, don’t go on a 3rd.

June 3, 2009 at 1:12 pm #9277

ThinkingRight
Participant

I agree with Kai. Give the guy another chance, he was probably nervous and trying to impress you. Unfortunately for him it had the opposite affect, but don’t kick him to the curb without first giving him a chance to redeem himself.

June 3, 2009 at 6:03 pm #9260

GPM
Participant

Interesting topic and interesting contributions…
I’ll just make two more observations:
1. If the guy was trying to impress you, he would have dressed up appropriately for a first date, he wouldn’t have grabbed the remote from you, and he would have accepted anyone of your outting proposals. My conclusion is that either he didn’t care about impressing you (bad sign) or he lacks taste and manners (bad sign).
2. In a sense, I sort of agree with giving him a second change/second date (we all make mistakes, right?). But you have to realize a few things. First of all, he’ll probably interpret a second date as though you’re still interested in him. He’ll think you were satisfied with the first encounter and that you want to repeat the experience (that’s usually what a second date is). And at this point, after a second date, bailing out will become a lot harder. It’s a lot easier to say “no” right away, than to wait and do it later on. You’ll start feeling sorry for him, blah blah blah and you’ll find it hard to dump him…. which you’ll probably ending doing anyhow because you’re clearly not ont the same wave length. So if the second date goes bad, will you have the strength to tell him that you’re just not interested???? For me, that’s the important question you have to answer.
So basically, it’s your choice. But the longer you wait to say “no”, the harder it gets.

July 2, 2009 at 11:13 am #9216

April Masini
Keymaster

Next!

It sounds like you are very clear that this date was rotten. Why would you put yourself through another date with a guy who can’t even show up dressed nicely? It’s one thing to be nervous on a date and fumble through sentences or spill a drink, but this guy is not in your league.

Remember: You are the prize. He gets to chase and impress you. And if he can’t or doesn’t…next!

Dating is a numbers game, and the more you date, the more likely you are to meet someone who, in your case, shows up for a date looking and smelling so great, he makes you feel special and wonderful, goes out of his way to make sure you are having a great time on the date, and is appreciative and generous because he wants you so much, and knows you’re so valuable, that he’d do what it takes to make you happy.

And send the dud date a copy of my book, Romantic Date Ideas, so maybe he can get a clue.
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