most confusing guy i’ve EVERRR met…

[b]let me start with our history and some background info.. i think i was 16, he was like 26, when we met at my aunts, he and his family are friends with my family, but we didn’t really hang out too much until a couple of months after my best friend died (Sept. 2010) he went to her viewing with me and after that i kind of clung to him. then he went with me to a party at my friend’s and got us some alcohol. it was cold so he was being cute and snuggling me, which, for the record, was the first move. when everyone decided to go to sleep we went in the guest bedroom and ended up fooling around some, nothing major though. after that we made out multiple times over the course of several months…until one night at my sister’s he kept trying to hold my hand/snuggle and i was all the sudden repulsed and disgusted by him and sort of “rejected” him. he left not long after that and i didn’t see or hear from him for a whileee, partly because i was staying at my sister’s, 30 minutes away. we occasionally would see each other when i’d go back to stay at my mom’s or aunt’s, up until my birthday this year (June) and
have been since, unless we’re arguing and ready to rip out each others throats. in July he had to move out of his friend’s house so my mom let him move in with her and i moved back in with her as well.[/b]
so now onto the actual issue…
we’ve gotten really close, he’s become my best friend…with benefits. i’ve always kind of had feelings for him, but they’ve gotten stronger and harder to ignore. we ended up having sex a few times and he kept saying he didn’t want it to confuse things between us..but it was confusing before that. he’s constantly sending me mixed signals, hot and cold..one minute it’s like he’s attached to my hip and loving it then the next it’s like he can’t stand me and would rather dig his eyes out with a spork than have to be around me. he recently told me that he doesn’t wanna be in a relationship with me nor do i want to be in one with him, and a whole bunch of other stuff that i don’t recall..so i shut down immediately and pretended everything was fine, but he saw right through me so i wrote him a short letter explaining that i do want to be in a relationship with him, that i have for a long time, but if it were gonna affect our friendship then i would do my best to
push my feelings down and ignore them. i gave it to him right before he went to work and when he got home he acted like nothing had happened, was even sorta flirty, so we didn’t get to talk that night and i left the next morning to go to my nephew’s birthday party and ended up staying at my sister’s. i wasn’t about to call him, so we didn’t talk for about a week then he called me one night and told me he missed my voice and that he just wanted to hear it before he went to bed.
there’s A LOT more details but i feel like i’ve already written way too much.

he was in a relationship for 6 years and when they ended it, it broke his heart. so i think he’s a bit jaded and cautious. and he’s really concerned with my mom and not disrespecting her. and then there’s also the fact that i’m 19 and he’s 28…
i just don’t know. he keeps my head spinning…and i don’t know what to do…