I am heartbroken by his lack of communication. What should I

My husband and I have been separated for four years and are currently going through a divorce, which will be complete about a month from now. We were separated so long because I was waiting for him to turn 65. He was on my health insurance, and he will be 65 in September. But it was definitely over. We have no children, and just before my divorce began, I met a man who asked me out. I wasn’t looking for anyone, but we hit it off. We have several mutual friends. He told me he thought we were made for each other. He told me he didn’t know that sex could be as special as it was with me. He sent me sweet text messages almost every day. We agreed that we were exclusive, and he told me couldn’t stand the thought of being cheated on because his first wife, to whom he had been married 19 years, had done that to him. We spent every weekend together from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon. We went to France together for a week in May, and I have been to dinner with him and his parents several times and met his three grown children.

We dated for about six months, and it was great. A few weeks ago, just before I filed divorce papers for my previous marriage, this man I was seeing, who is a lawyer, suggested we not see each other until the divorce was final in order to avoid any complications while the divorce was still in process. I agreed that it was probably a good idea. At first, I was sad because I thought we wouldn’t be in contact, but he said he wanted to stay in contact. He said our temporary situation had nothing to do with how he felt about me, and he cared about me. We have been together a couple of times since then, but we’re not spending every weekend together right now. I even left some items his house that I used while there, and he agreed to keep them for me.

However, the last couple of weeks he’s been distant. At first, he didn’t text me as often as he used to. He went to Colorado to see his brother, and when he returned, he didn’t text me for two days. I sent him a text, asking if he was ok and telling him I missed hearing from him. He texted me back a few hours later, saying he had not been sleeping well and was also utterly exhausted from a trip to his brother’s house across the country this past weekend. Then after that, he stopped texting me. I sent him a Facebook message a couple of days later, asking him if I had done something to offend him, and he replied the next day, saying no, I had not done anything to offend him; he had “just been having to sort through some things.” We haven’t communicated since then, but we are still Facebook friends, and he still occasionally clicks that he “likes” my links and photos. A couple of days ago, he forwarded a cute e-mail to me. I saw him last night at a musical event in town, but we didn’t really speak. My girlfriends said they thought he didn’t look happy. I also told them I wondered if he were seeing someone else, but I am certain he’s not. He’s on Facebook at odd weekend hours lately, and my friends, who have known him longer than I have, said they have not really known him to date anyone in the 15 years since he’s been divorced. I’m the first person they’ve seen him with.

Some things important to know:

— Our ages. I’m in my 30s. This guy is 60 years old, not some twenty-something player. He is losing his hair and has to take Cialis. (No matter, I love him deeply.) He told me I’d have to be patient about the latter (sex) with him when we first got together. He said he had to get past some emotional blocks from his previous marriage (the way his wife neglected him sexually for the last year). He said it had nothing to do with his feeling about me, just some baggage he’s got and was trying to figure out how to work through, but he hadn’t ever really had a situation where he had that opportunity. He said he hoped it won’t be a problem for me, but if it was, he’d understand. I was patient with him . We worked through it, and the sex was wonderful.

— He did not know when we first went out that I was separated and about to go through a divorce. I told him about my situation on the second date, so he did not “prey” on me. Early on, he told me he couldn’t say, “Hey let’s go the movie” because he didn’t want to create an uncomfortable situation for me, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to see me. He said he guessed he was digging a hole for himself. He also told me early on that he worried about my legal situation and didn’t want me to have any difficulties.

— He was very sweet for a long time in both text and Facebook messages. He told me he didn’t really believe in fate but Sometimes, though, he’d “like to . . . for instance, where I was concerned. “

— After I thanked him for his Valentine’s Day gifts, he told me in a message that he felt lucky to have met me and that things had developed like they had. He said he tended not to be the sentimental type, but he did think I was a pretty special lady and he looked forward to the time we spent together.

— Regarding his ex-wife, he did tell me what he thought broke apart their marriage and probably led to her seeing someone else was his tendency to take for granted after their three children were born. He focused more on them–or at least that’s how she felt. He said he was pretty wary of relationships after being married for 19 years and being cheated on.

— When we first got together, I told him about being paranoid about getting heartbroken because of a previous relationship when someone simply stopped responding to me and shut me out of his life. He said, “Don’t be paranoid. No need… I’m not the heartbreaking type. I’m usually on the other end of that.”

Anyway, I am heartbroken by the lack of communication and the distance of late while he’s been “sorting through some things.” What does this mean? What should I do? I’m also curious if we are still “on pause” until my divorce is final. I will still have to see him again because, as I said, I left some things at his house, and he has a t-shirt he brought me back from his recent trip to Colorado. I really want to ask him to talk, but I don’t want to push him away. Should I ignore him or ask him to talk? I’m really hurting. We have a book club together this Thursday, but I have a feeling he won’t show up.